We had a great chat about a dozen different things and, of course, one of them was dating and relationships. I mentioned to him that it’s now been over a month since my last date, and that this has been the longest I’ve been without a date in I don’t know how long.
And then I said that the main reason for this was that I didn’t want to turn some guy into an innocent bystander. And PassionMD, being the incredibly smart and sensitive guy that he is, got it.
You see, right now I’ve got a lot of shit going on. Most of which I’m keeping off-blog. Some of it I’ve hinted at, some of it I haven’t. I’m not trying to be secretive or build suspense or anything like that. There are just some parts of my life that I want to keep out of the blogosphere. It’s how I stay semi-sane.
And then there was that big, ridiculous, I can’t believe it actually happened drama with M a few weeks ago. That really messed with my head. MY HEAD. Not my heart. But my head.
If I were dating now, casually meeting guys out for drinks a couple times a week like I usually do, and I met someone and we clicked, *sigh*. It wouldn’t be good. Not for him. I’m not in a strong, healthy (mentally health-wise) place right now. And I know that.
So I’d just be wasting some guy’s time. Dating to go through the motions. And that’s not something I feel comfortable with. Wasting a guy’s time. Maybe hurting a person who doesn’t deserve it.
It wouldn’t be right. Btw, I speak from experience, having been both an innocent bystander in the past and the one causing the damage.
No dating for me until I’m no longer a danger to myself or others.
Tags: ex-boyfriend, tmi