Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.


First, a little lesson:

People use hashtags to spread and organize information on Twitter.  For everything you ever needed to know about this topic click here.

On Twitter there is an ever-present list of trending topics.  Those are the words (denoted by hashtags) that are being used most often in the twitter community.  People will frequently start a new one, for fun, and it will catch on.

On today’s list of trending topics is #HesNotThatIntoYou. Really.  In 2009.  We’re still kicking this one around.

Now, I’ll admit that some of the entrees are amusing.  A few are even original.  A few.

Anyway, here’s my two cents:  I know that I’ve made the mistake, more than once, of not realizing right away when a guy was just not that into me.  Yep.  Been there, done that.  But when I think of my issues with men, that’s not the one I’d put on top of the list.

I’ve got the opposite problem.  What about when he IS that into you.  And you ARE that into him.  And everything about it is wrong.  And you’re going to get hurt.  Both of you.  And you’re smart enough to know that but you stick around anyway.

That’s not so funny.



6 to “#HesNotThatIntoYou”

  1. That Kind of Girl says:

    To be fair, with the whole cultural waaaay over-flogging of “He’s Just Not That Into You,” I think it’s trending really high right now because the movie just came out on DVD.

    Also, I totally agree with you about the “We’re Just So Into Each Other (and yet everything is screwed up)” phenomenon. It’s the worst.

  2. LPS says:

    I agree. The knee-jerk reaction of “he’s just that into you/me” is sooo annoying. It’s exactly as you put it – when you’re both into eachother & it’s not right, or it’s not healthy & people get hurt. The book did gloss over that in the form of galliantly gushing over healthy relationships, but the masses’ mantra of “he’s just not that into you” completely overrides that. It’s the new form of one-up-manship when a woman dares to complain to her superior-all-knowing friend. Now that it makes my skin crawl with annoyance.

  3. Fabulous_Soles says:

    I Soooo agree with this “We’re Just So Into Each Other (and yet everything is screwed up)” phenomenon.!!!! Always seems to be the case that the one who brings out the liveliness and excited to see you feeling is one who is “not right on paper” in more ways than one. All the while, there may be several men interested in swooning over you and asking for your attention or when you are free, this man is the one who continues to hold the desire of your affection! Maybe it goes along with the saying that many of us (yes myself inclueded) always seem to desire what they can or should not be wantiing. Although is that just the way life works? Is true love always found in the “right” way ot is it sometimes “wrong”!?

  4. Simone Grant says:

    -That Kind of Girl
    I’m glad to hear there’s a logical reason for the reemergence. I can be pretty clueless about stuff like that. I’d hate to think there was really nothing else for use to talk about in terms of dating and relationships :-)
    My reaction is similar to yours. I hate oversimplification in most forms. And the he’s just not into mantra is the epitome of oversimplification.
    -Fabulous Soles
    Welcome to the blog. I wish I knew the answer to that one. I really wish I did. Then again, I’m not sure I even understand or believe in true love. Although I wish I did.

  5. genesisrocks says:

    Agree Simone, that is the worst. I don’t buy into the whole “he’s just not that into you” thing anyway. Because really I think it’s better to maybe waste a little time on a guy who isn’t interested than miss out on a guy that is but is too shy to say so.

  6. a girl that likes bread says:

    i don’t know. i kinda agree with the “he’s just not that into you”. mainly because it’s helped organize my life and not keep dating douche-baguettes when there’s plenty tasty bread out there. when i’m head over heels in lust (or in love) with someone, i WILL do strange things. i WILL call. i WILL drive to see them. i WILL want to spend time with them. and if the guy is shy, i’ll bring it up in conversation too. because i like to take the dykey bull by the horns and i’m not afraid of confrontation.