Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Things Friends Say

Another thing most of you don’t know about me, unless you “know” me IRL – I can’t text for shit.  Seriously, any text I send is guaranteed to have at least one incorrect word.  I say incorrect instead of misspelled because I use an iphone which has that handy autocorrect feature.  So when I mistype stuff it guesses at what I meant.  So this morning, in a text exchange with a friend, I sent this text:  “You should go have a December”.  Instead of, “You should go have a decent breakfast”.  I tried to correct myself a few moments later with the following, “Oops.  That was suuposed to say decent breakfast.”  Close, but no cigar.

You’d think I have massively fat fingers.  But I don’t.  I’m just a late adapter to this whole texting thing and I learn slow.  Kind of a theme in my life, actually.

But that’s not really the point here.  Somewhere in that text exchange I was explaining to my friend that I was running late, and hadn’t even posted yet.  And that, “I suck”.  My friend replied that I am always so hard on myself (“you’re always so hard on yourself” – he is not texting impaired).

And while it is true that I suck, because I am running several hours behind schedule today, it is also true that I’m always so hard on myself.  I always have been, I guess.  It’s something I remember my parents saying to me, and colleagues, supervisors, , boyfriends.  I guess it comes from my constant self-reflection.  But as hard on myself as I am, I’ve always worked hard to stay happy.  It’s an odd balancing act.

Anyway, I was just reflecting back on the past week or so and thinking about how angry people got about what I was writing here on the blog.  I still haven’t figured out why (somtimes I’m thick).  I don’t tell anyone how to live or say that anyone else’s way of living is less valid than mine.  I don’t suggest that I have any answers.  In fact, I’m constantly pointing out that I’m stumbling my way through the darkness.

But then, I’m also not saying that anyone else is right.  And some people really need to be right.

I’m not sure I have a point this morning.  I guess what I wanted to write is that this blog is really just an online expression of who I am and what I’ve always done.  I live my life and then I reflect on it.  And, most importantly, I try to keep going and not let anything or anyone get me too down.  Not sure if any of this makes any sense…

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5 to “Things Friends Say”

  1. teresademelo says:

    is this entry divided in two different subjects or is it just me? anyway, you made me ROFL with the iphone part, and lemme just mention I’m at the office…
    as for the second part, yeah there will always be people that constantly need to be reassured that they are always right… so don’t mind them! :)


  2. Singletude: A Positive Blog for SIngles says:

    I call myself a realist when it comes to judging myself. Perhaps other people see me as being hard on myself, too. I just see myself as being honest about my own flaws. What I think they don’t realize is that recognizing my own flaws isn’t the same as hating myself. I know what my failings are, and I’m also, for the most part, okay with them. They don’t upset me that much. When they really do, I work at changing them.

    I don’t know why some people are so hard on you here at your blog. Maybe the answer is “because they can be.” It seems to me that a lot of people are walking around with so much hostility pent up inside, hostility that, for one reason or other, couldn’t be directed at its real source, and they seize on the anonymity of the Internet as a safe place where they can channel it. But that doesn’t make it right, and you don’t have to accept it. I think it’s to your credit that you always handle trolls with grace.

  3. Jennifer-in-NY says:

    Maybe that’s why I identify so much with your blog. I don’t think our values line up so much as how we perceive the world; I’m very analytical and try really hard to be non-judgmental. And I like that that’s what you do :)

  4. KB_in_NYC says:

    Simone, I do think sometimes you are too hard on yourself (you so don’t suck). But then maybe that is part of who you are. And that’s okay too. We all learn from each other and some people may like what you have to say; other don’t. But does it really matter? You live your life (and write your blog) on your own terms. And that counts for a lot.

  5. Simone Grant says:

    Welcome to the blog. It took me a bit longer than usual to get to my point on this post :-) Thanks, I’m doing my best to not mind them.
    -Singletude: A Positive Blog for SIngles
    I’d guess that there are those of us who are “hard on ourselves” and those who aren’t. And the people in the latter group will never really understand that it’s not about being hard or soft, just trying to be the best we can be.
    I appreciate that. I’d imagine that the people who most appreciate this blog are also self-reflective and analytical.
    Does it matter, not in the slightest bit. But that doesn’t make it fun to read. I have thick skin, but I am actually human.