Another thing most of you don’t know about me, unless you “know” me IRL – I can’t text for shit. Seriously, any text I send is guaranteed to have at least one incorrect word. I say incorrect instead of misspelled because I use an iphone which has that handy autocorrect feature. So when I mistype stuff it guesses at what I meant. So this morning, in a text exchange with a friend, I sent this text: “You should go have a December”. Instead of, “You should go have a decent breakfast”. I tried to correct myself a few moments later with the following, “Oops. That was suuposed to say decent breakfast.” Close, but no cigar.
You’d think I have massively fat fingers. But I don’t. I’m just a late adapter to this whole texting thing and I learn slow. Kind of a theme in my life, actually.
But that’s not really the point here. Somewhere in that text exchange I was explaining to my friend that I was running late, and hadn’t even posted yet. And that, “I suck”. My friend replied that I am always so hard on myself (“you’re always so hard on yourself” – he is not texting impaired).
And while it is true that I suck, because I am running several hours behind schedule today, it is also true that I’m always so hard on myself. I always have been, I guess. It’s something I remember my parents saying to me, and colleagues, supervisors, friends, boyfriends. I guess it comes from my constant self-reflection. But as hard on myself as I am, I’ve always worked hard to stay happy. It’s an odd balancing act.
Anyway, I was just reflecting back on the past week or so and thinking about how angry people got about what I was writing here on the blog. I still haven’t figured out why (somtimes I’m thick). I don’t tell anyone how to live or say that anyone else’s way of living is less valid than mine. I don’t suggest that I have any answers. In fact, I’m constantly pointing out that I’m stumbling my way through the darkness.
But then, I’m also not saying that anyone else is right. And some people really need to be right.
I’m not sure I have a point this morning. I guess what I wanted to write is that this blog is really just an online expression of who I am and what I’ve always done. I live my life and then I reflect on it. And, most importantly, I try to keep going and not let anything or anyone get me too down. Not sure if any of this makes any sense…
Tags: friends, happiness, texts