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The 4 Things I Miss Most About Having a Regular Guy In My Life

I was lying in bed last night, alone.  Thinking about how much I hate lying in bed alone.  And thinking about how much I miss having a guy in my life.  Which is different than being , btw. I can be AND have a guy in my life.  And I can miss having a guy in my life and NOT be .

One doesn’t have much to do with the other.

Right now, I’m not particularly lonely.  I’m so busy with work stuff and friend stuff and famiy stuff that I don’t have time to think about lonely.  But I do miss having a guy.  For lots of reasons.  Here’s my top 4.

  1. I miss having a regular life.  I’ve been exchanging emails all day with my ocassional , trying to coordinate schedules so that a break in his schedule can match up with a break in my schedule and he can come over.  It’s nice that I’m not celibate (I don’t do celibate well), but it’s just not enough.
  2. I miss intimacy.
  3. I miss waking up in someone’s arms.  It’s getting cold, here in NYC.  Every morning for the last few mornings I’ve woken up to an icy bedroom and thought how nice is would be to have a man there with me.
  4. I miss falling asleep next to someone.  It’s a cliche, I know.  But I sleep better with a partner (assuming they neither snore too loud, steal all the covers or crush me).

Nothing too surprising here.  Hardly worth spelling it out.  Except for this – the sleeping with and waking up and sex, that’s just a small fraction of my life.  So missing the guy, it doesn’t leave that big of a hole.


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10 to “The 4 Things I Miss Most About Having a Regular Guy In My Life”


  1. PMFoutofwater says:

    I hate sleeping next to someone. Worst thing about a relationship.

  2. VouxCroux says:

    You know what? Those are the same things I miss about having a regular girlfriend in my life. Especially with how cold it gets in the frigid Northern Plains.

  3. Dating is My Hobby says:

    Yeah..those are definitely awesome perks of a relationship. I love waking up next to someone and hitting the snooze button and re-spooning up together. mmmm.

  4. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles says:

    It’s so interesting to see how different people are. :) I find it so hard to get a good night’s sleep with someone else, and I’ve only been with two men who WEREN’T the restless, snoring kind.

    Cuddling is nice, and so is sex when it’s steady and good. But then I just think of the other seven and a half hours spent tossing and turning and sticking my fingers in my ears…I’m not very romantic, I know!

  5. Singlegal says:

    I miss intimacy so much sometimes, that I forget what it is on occasion. What I am surprised at is how much I like sleeping alone … almost prefer it at times. It worries me …
    Stay warm for the winter!

  6. KB_in_NYC says:

    I want to have lots of sex! And a man to carry my heavy bags. And take me out for dinner. That being said, you’re right SG. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of a big hole at all.

    Get that fuck buddy round ASAP.

  7. letigre937 says:

    I agree with your whole list! I think one of the most fun things, for me, is to have someone to play with/joke around with when I first wake up. I like having a guy who is good-natured enough to let me tease him awake… very fun. And it’s so cute, seeing see him wake up smiling and laughing.

  8. dmfontana says:

    SG… I have read your blog on and off with out comment … however this drives me to make one. I think your list is universal about what we miss when we don’t have someone else in our lives (or beds) . I add the following:

    Miss watching someone fall alseep next to you… for whatever reason, it is incredibly peaceful

    Miss waking up to the scent of a woman’s perfume on your pillow… its a reminder that someone much better looking than us spent the night

    Miss waking up to that quiet talk that happens in the morning…. no matter how loud the night before was…

  9. Simone Grant says:

    First, my apologies for taking so long to reply, everyone. I hate myself a bit this week.
    Next, a bit hearty welcome to a couple of people who’s names I don’t recognize (and apologies if I should recognize them but don’t – I am pretty senile):dmfontana, letigre937, VouxCroux. I’m glad you found us and hope to see more of your comments.

    -PMFoutofwater
    Really? Even if she’s really quiet and doesn’t take up much space? Hmmm.
    -VouxCroux
    I think that most things related to relationships and feelings have nothing to do with gender. Intimacy is intimacy. Love is love. Cold and alone is cold and alone. There is no male way or female way. But then, that’s my opinion. I’d sure there are lots of people who disagree with me.
    -Dating is My Hobby
    Seriously, that is what I miss most. When I envision a future of maybe being with someone again, that is what I dream of.
    -Singletude
    It’s so very individual. I’ve had the boyfriends who were horrible to sleep with. The ones who snored and tossed and turned all night. And those were miserable times. But those weren’t long relationships and so I don’t think of them when I imagine my future. Funny.
    -Singlegal
    Yeah, the intimacy thing is a bitch. Especially because it’s impossible to explain. sigh.
    -KB_in_NYC
    It’s funny, my original list was longer and I’d included something about dinner… A bag carrier might be nice too.
    -letigre937
    Yes, that easiness. I miss that very much, too.
    -dmfontana
    Thank you. And yes, I think it’s probably universal. The simple stuff. I can live without it all, and live well. But I do miss it.