Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m SO late to this party. It’s kinda sad. Even for me. I’ve been suppressing the urge to write about the “women need to get drunk to have sex” study since I first read about it 10 days ago. I can hold it in no longer. But I’ll get to that and why, later.
First, the topic at hand, just in case you don’t know about the study in question. I first read about it in Broadsheet. Femfresh, a feminine hygiene product did a survey of 3000 women aged 18-50 and found that, among other things, “Seventy-five percent said that they prefer having sex with their partners after drinking, and one woman in 20 said she’d never done it sober”.
Now, let’s ignore the potential flaws in the survey as many others have picked it to shreds. Let’s just suppose that within this data there is an essense of truth – many women routinely have sex under the influence of alcohol (I’m not going to get into why, again, lots of others have written about that in the last 10 days). I don’t think anyone would disagree with that basic truth. It might not be the majority, might not be 75%, but there are certainly many.
So what? As long as we’re talking about consenting adults, right?
But here’s the thing, I actually prefer to have sex sober. It’s kind of a big deal for me. I will, on occasion, get drunk and have sex because I’m horny (and this is much more likely to happen if I haven’t been getting any on a regular basis). But my preference is to be sober. Completely sober.
Which is why I was so excited, last night, to read the really smart post in Blogher by avflox called Drunk on You: Alcohol Disinhibits But at Cost? She and I are coming at this from slightly different places (slightly) but I think she does a brilliant job of writing about why she prefers sex sober. My favorite line, “I want to feel everything. And I want to remember it.”
Kind of relevant to this is something I wrote a while back, about how I don’t actually like to date guys who drink a lot. At the time I left the topic of sex off the table. But that’s a big part of it, too. I prefer sex sober. And I prefer for us both to be sober. A glass of wine, or two, OK. But drunk, no. The best sex of my life has all been sober (not that I would remember the drunken sex, because when I used to drink more, I used to DRINK MORE).
Anyway, I just thought it was time to add my little voice to the conversation. One more vote for awesome sober sex.
Tags: BlogHer, Broadsheet, drunk, horny, sex, Sober