Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.


Here we are again.  Another Sunday, another Guy’s Story.  For those of you who are newer readers of the blog, let me explain – every Sunday I have a guest post from a guy.  Call it my attempt at balance.

This Sunday’s guest author is a twitter friend of mine, @Teifion.  I won’t even try to count the number of times he’s helped me out of jams (of the technical/computer type – I am a tech moron).  I was kind of shocked, at first, when he said he might want to contribute a story.   At first.  And then I was really excited.  You see, he and I couldn’t be more different when it comes to our personal lives (a point which becomes clear as you read his story).  But that doesn’t really matter.  The feelings he writes about are ones that I can easily relate to. And I think you’ll be able to relate to them, also.


We all know that men become tongue tied when faced with a woman they love. Sure it’s funny in films and I assume funny the first few times it happens to you; but I reckon it gets pretty annoying when nobody can talk to you because you simply look too good. Of course, that’s all assumption and not the point of my tale. Guys do not just get tongue tied, they also get blind, this is a tale of me being pretty blind. Hopefully you’ll have some laughs at my expense and maybe, just maybe, you’ll think back to a guy that appeared uninterested and think that maybe that’s not the case.

The scene is several years ago, I had been a Christian for I think a year, my Church was helping at Cheltenham Bible Festival running a youth event. I volunteered to help on the basis that it’d probably be good fun and an excuse to consume vast amounts of sugar under the guise of “work”. The first day of youth work went well, the kids were well behaved and my sugar levels stayed at fever pitch the entire day. In the evening was a barn-dance thing, I had a great time but I wore my youth work t-shirt, it was clearly not appropriate to wear it the next day as I dance pretty fast and it kinda smelt slightly…

My team went to the burger van for breakfast but I had to pop off to get a new t-shirt so told them I’d catch up. I get to the burger van and between myself and my team was a group of 3 people about my age. Rather than do my normal act of shoving people out the way; I stopped and chatted to them. They were also wearing youth work t-shirts so they invited me to come and sit at their table, on the basis that I could make new friends, I accepted. One of the girls seemed more talkative than the others, she was quite pretty and had a butterfly drawn on her face (face paints, not a tattoo), we’ll call her Butterfly.

After I got back to my room the rest of my team gave me gripe about abandoning them to “shark” for girls.  It’d not been my intention so I mocked them back and paid it no heed. Over the next couple of days I bumped into her several times and she was always interested in talking to me, having an ego the size of the a Cylon baseship, I didn’t notice this odd turn of events. The final day of the festival arrives and I’m leaving my youth group room to grab lunch.

The rooms were arranged in a row, Butterfly’s room was next to mine, I always went out the back and was the only one that ever went out the back. Knowing this I think it’s fair to say that if you wanted to find me you’d wait on one of those steps out the back. I went to lunch and saw Buttefly trying to deflate some inflatable palm tree or something, she was doing it in the slowest manner possible. Being the lovely and charming chap that I am I offered to help, after a flirtatious exchange of “only if you want to”, “it’s up to you, do you want help?”, “only if you’re not busy” I sat down and helped.

I’m very practical, I worked out the fastest possible way to solve the problem of deflation and went on my way, I thought to myself “good thing I helped, what took me 5 minutes may well have taken her half an hour!”. Yeah, that’s it right there, it never occurred to me that she might be interested in talking to me, that she was being slow on purpose. I went in thinking I had my wits about me but if I really did, I’d have offered to hold the valve open (only slightly of course) while she squeezed the inflatable and we’d have chatted.

So next time a guy seems completely oblivious to your advances, it may be that he’s just a bit thick and is not used to people trying to flirt with him, he may just think you’re a nice person that’s taking an interest in him.

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6 to “Blind”

  1. DaveTheBrit says:

    Cheers for sharing Teifion.

    I’ve been in situations like this, my usual “killer” is a quick, unfunny sarcastic comment, (i seem to do this when nervous). So for whatever reason they wanted to talk to me, it will probably be over now.

    cheers again!

  2. Teifion says:

    Glad to be a reassurance :)

  3. FitDarcie says:

    I hate it when men can’t figure out I’m hitting on them. I hit on so very few men, so when I do, I expect them to react.

  4. DaveTheBrit says:

    I would like there to be a sign, around A3 size with the words.


    Which men and women will use before chatting

    This will save

  5. Teifion says:

    @FitDarcie The trick is to not be subtle, we men can be really thick sometimes (and at others really smart).

  6. grad student says:

    @FitDarcie and Teiflon… I don’t think its all about us being just thick though. I would be many guys have also had the flip side to this scenario. Same (or very similar circumstances) and you believe it is flirting, but acting upon that belief (and not in a vulgar, sophomoric way either) the guy is shot down and not nicely. (What? Just cuz I am being nice doesn’t mean I want you or anything. Jeez!…etc etc)
    Slightly subtle should be OK, but too subtle. And, if subtle isn’t working, be a little more direct. Remember, if you expect us to read minds or discern hints and subtly, then you should not be put-off or angry if we get our interpretation wrong.