I admit it. There’s a pretty good chance that I’ve been wrong. For a while. That I’ve been making some bad decisions. Over and over.
Gee, what a surprise.
Back when I was saying that it didn’t matter that so many men lied on their online profiles about their height, weight and/or age. That it didn’t matter to me. Didn’t affect whether or not I liked a guy. I was looking at it all wrong. It didn’t matter to me in the past. But it should.
Let me back up here and explain where all of this is coming from. One of the projects I’m working on had me looking through hundreds of online profiles over the weekend. Maybe thousands Not for myself. Just looking at them to pick out some good ones (I’ll tell you more about that project later in the week). Anyway, I was spotting liars all over the place (men and women). It’s just really easy for me to look at a picture, read a profile and know with a high degree of certainty whether someone is being truthful about their age (and some other things, too).
And I’ve been able to do this for a while now. It’s a skill I’ve developed over the last few years. So when I accepted an invitation to go out with Mr. Nicepost, I knew that he’d lied to me about his age. And I wrote it off with, “lots of guys lie about stuff like that and I’m cool with it”.
Well, I was taking a long walk over the weekend and doing some thinking. About all the men I’ve dated over the last few years who lied on their profiles and how those relationships, or non-relationships went. Mr. “I never lied to you, I am divorced, from my from first wife” had lied about his age. And I knew it before we even met. He used an old picture and claimed to be only 40, but there was no way that everything he’d told me about himself could’ve been true if he was only 40. Yeah, that worked out well.
And my entire relationship with evil ex-boyfriend was based on lies he told before we even met.
Whereas, the one guy who stands out as being the most honest, most decent guy I’ve ever met online, or IRL, had a 100% truthful profile. He told the truth about his age, which was a little old for me when we first met. But he sent me a little note saying that he was interested, and that he hoped I could overlook the fact that he was a bit outside my age range. I read his profile and developed an immediate crush on him. Our relationship didn’t work out, we just don’t fit each other romantically, but now he’s one of my best friends.
And I’m out there, telling my true age. Even though I know that a lot of guys put me in the “too old” camp. I’m not willing to compromise my integrity so that more guys will want to ask me out. I’m just not.
OK, I’m rambling. I know I’m rambling. I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve been wrong in the past. Honesty matters. At least it should. And that from now on, when I see a guy who looks interesting but who is obviously lying on his profile, I’m just going to say no. I’m better than that.
Tags: liar, lying, Online dating, online dating profile picture, too old