Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Too Much and Not Enough

I did meet one man during my free weekend on Match.  We’ve been emailing just about every day, and earlier this week he asked me out for Friday (last) night.  I said no. I had 2 things on my calendar for last night and was looking forward to both – a party and a friend’s comedy show.  I said I’d love to see him another time and now we’re working on that ‘other time’.  We’ll see.  I know how these things go.

Then last night came around and I was so busy with work that I ended up staying home and working.  I have a lot of little things I’m working on.  And a few big things.  I’m hoping to be able to tell you about some of them by early next week.  Anyway, I was so focused on the work that I didn’t even realize that last night was the Dollhouse season premier and I could’ve been watching it in the background.  Thank god for Hulu.

Truth is, all morning I’ve been thinking like maybe I need to accept the fact that work needs to come first right now.  Work and family.  And least for a few weeks. That I don’t have that little bit of extra energy it takes to put myself out there and date.

I don’t know.  It’s probably just the getting to me.  I just feel like I have too much going on.  And like I’m sinking under the weight of it all.  And quite frankly, I just don’t think I have enough energy to do everything that needs to be done.  Which is kind of funny, in a way, because no one is asking me to do it.  I’m the one who’s put me in this situation.  Anyway, I just thought I’d share that because I thought that maybe some of my readers could relate.  Especially my readers.

There is something unbelievably exhausting about trying to live the life you’re dreaming for yourself, creating it from nothing, with almost no support.

And now to change the subject to something even more embarrassing (more embarrassing than that, how is that possible, you ask?), I have this silly little widget over on the right side of my page, in the middle.  It’s from Divine Caroline, for their Love This Site contest.  I was nominated, along with lots of other great sites (including Lostplum, who is currently kicking ass and is in second place, totally awesome!).  I feel weird about stuff like this, but I figured why not as I’m already being pathetic today.   It’d be cool if some of you could vote for me.  It’s kind of a drag because you have to register with Divine Caroline and that takes a few minutes, but you can elect to not receive any of their emails, etc.  And you can vote for more than one site, so hint hint, you can vote for me and Lostplum.  I did.

This concludes today’s pathetic rambling.  I promise to get my shit together ASAP.


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6 to “Too Much and Not Enough”


  1. Anonymous says:

    You’re not pathetic at all- I’m single, self-employed, and trying to sell my house. I have only so much spare time, and I need to see my friends and family, so yes, dating requires a real effort to pull off. Sometimes I don’t have that extra energy to put forth the effort and I take a break. You sound like you need a break- so take one!

  2. kristinP says:

    you are so not pathetic, but perhaps you need to give yourself a break and not judge yourself too harshly :) sounds like you know what’s best but you are having a little difficulty giving yourself permission. what advice would you give to a friend who was in your position? i’m pretty sure you wouldn’t call them pathetic. good luck on the secret projects. looking forward to hearing more.

  3. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles says:

    There’s nothing at all wrong with prioritizing what’s most important to you! You may or may not find a significant other (and I hope you do if that’s what you want), but you’ll always have yourself, so you need to make sure you are your first priority. As someone who is attempting to make a living doing something very similar, I totally get where you’re coming from. Even though I don’t date, I’ve had to turn down invitations from friends, which I hate doing. But it takes tremendous time and work to be self-employed and to make the Internet a primary source of income, and as much as I love my friends, none of them are going to build my new life for me. Much luck to you as you pursue your new endeavors!

  4. Tales From a Bar Stool says:

    Dating takes a lot of time and energy. Particularly online dating, which is supposed to help ease the process when in fact it adds hours to it. Everyone needs to take a break at some point. Plus, it’s often when you have put your tools down that someone just right comes along…

  5. LittleMissAngry says:

    “There is something unbelievably exhausting about trying to live the life you’re dreaming for yourself, creating it from nothing, with almost no support.” So so true and I can relate. I live with a cousin of mine in the city. We started off single together, then she found someone. And so many things (little things too like buying stuff for myself like LCD tvs and shit) all of which I do myself, she has this guy in her life who does it for her now. Of course, its material stuff, but there’s the emotional part too, when she comes home from a horrible day at work, he’s there to comfort her and cook for her or whatever. Me? Well, most of the times I have my friends and plenty of margaritas. But there are times, like in your post when you feel overwhelmed and no amount of margaritas gonna help.

    Any, I don’t think there was anything pathetic in your post. You rock :)

  6. Veka says:

    Thank you for your honesty about work coming before dating. Recently I’ve been “talking to” (not technically “dating” unfortunately) someone who I can already tell is a workaholic. It’s nice to hear your perspective on this, even if it might not be what I want to hear. Work certainly comes before play.