I’m front-loading this post with apologies galore. I’m totally ignoring my editorial calendar again. I’m just not in the mood for a list post. I promise to return to regularly scheduled programming sometime soon.
Now, before I get to the topic at hand, I wanted to give you all a couple of updates on my dating life. I know I usually do that in a separate post but I’m breaking that rule, too. Last weekend I took advantage of a trial membership on Match.com. I was very disappointed with how that went overall. I was flooded with messages by inappropriate men and the Match.com system doesn’t allow you to easily send polite no thank you messages to a bulk group. Instead you have to go to each message and respond. It’s very time consuming to be polite there. Anyway, I did meet one guy who seems interesting and we’ve been emailing each other all week. I wouldn’t be surprised if we got together this weekend. I closed the account before the end of the trial period.
There’s been some other dating activity, but nothing I’m ready/willing to write about. Not yet.
And now for today’s real topic – money and how it affects dating and relationships. Dammit this topic won’t go away. I was out with my friends Lostplum and Mirthful last week and they were talking about something they’d read (I tried to find it but couldn’t. Sorry. You know how I like to give credit.) about how men should never pay for dates and women should stop expecting them to. None of us really loved that concept, although we saw the basic logic of it.
And then last night, I was out at an event and it came up again. A woman was telling me and Lostplum of a bad first date. A guy had invited her out and asked her to pick a place. She did and they went out and had a pleasant enough time and then when the bill came he made a fuss and said, “the place was outside of his price range” (we all thought he could have found a better way to ask her to pay for half). When he called her for a second date she said no.
I wrote a pretty long post about money and dating and the who pays situation in my life (not suggesting in any way that others follow my lead) a while back. Here it is.
For me, like with most things in relation to dating, it’s all situational. I have no set rules. And I can’t imagine attempting to live by any set rules. It’s seems insane to me to say that there’s no difference between going out with a guy who earns high six figures a year and a broke adjunct professor. I don’t care how much a guy earns, but how much my date/boyfriend earns will affect how much I contribute financially. It just will. I’m not going to let someone who is struggling financially spend money on me. I will, however, let a guy who’s loaded take me out to ridiculously expensive restaurants (if that’s his choice) and pick up the tab.
Anyway, I thought it would be helpful to share some other opinions here.
Tags: Dating update, Match, Online dating