Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Only Thing More Annoying…

Last week my good friend Tom Miller aka over at wrote a piece about the worst’s most annoying husband.  I guess I’m the last person to hear about this blog.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about a friend of mine (actually we’re not close anymore, long story, so not appropriate for this space) who used every conversation and every get-together as an opportunity to complain about her husband and their .  Pretty much nonstop.

I tried to be understanding, for a while, but then it really started to grate on my nerves.  I’ve never been the type of girl who wanted to spend all of my time talking about boys, whether I had one in my life or not.  And while I can imagine having an annoying (or worse) husband is something a woman would want to talk about, I don’t have much time and patience for people who let that be the only thing they ever talk about.  If things are that bad, IMHO, do something about it.  Otherwise, chill.  Same goes for men who are constantly bitching about their wives.

And then, of course, there’s the flip side.  The singles who are always complaining about being .

I guess what I’m saying that is that we’re all more that our relationship status.  All of us.  I am a but I’m also a lot more than that.  My friend was a woman in a frustrating marriage with an annoying husband. But she was more than that, too.

And yet sometimes we find ourselves in these patterns when talking (listening) about this one thing is all we do.  ANNOYING. Hmmm, maybe this post made more sense when I started it at 2am?

Anyway, this is what I’m thinking.  I’d love to know what you think.

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6 to “The Only Thing More Annoying…”

  1. Momma Sunshine says:

    It’s funny how no matter what the situation, there will always be people complaining. Whatever happened to just being happy?

  2. Kolea says:

    I knew a couple like that. At first you think they’re just going through a rough patch. But 3 years later, you’re still hearing about the same old shit. And they would want you to be so happy for them that they stuck it out during the brief moments when their relationship wasn’t dysfunctional. So while yes, your relationship status isn’t a definition of who you are; how you act in them is. If you’re codependent, desperate, what-have-you, I can’t help but feel like that must spill over into other areas of your life, even if it isn’t quite so obvious.

  3. Dating is My Hobby says:

    I’m with you. Do you have those friends where you feel like if one of you isn’t having a problem in a relationship you have nothing to talk about? I’ve tried to eliminate those.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I get the feeling you aren’t really talking about the blog but are more talking about complaining in general. The blog being referenced about the most annoying husband is very tongue in cheek. I hope you weren’t taking that blog too seriously?

  5. Singletude says:

    Astute observation. I think the inability to separate ourselves from our relationship status, to see ourselves as complete individuals apart from our significant others is at the root of why coupling is so idealized in our culture and singleness so denigrated.

  6. Simone Grant says:

    I was just using the blog as a jumping off point for the conversation. Perhaps you should reread my post.
    -Momma Sunshine
    Some people do have a much easier time focusing on the negative, it seems. A pity.
    That’s an interesting point. People do behave similarly in most areas of their lives.
    -Dating is My Hobby
    Yes, I shed those relationships a while ago. Part of getting older, I suspect. I got tired of identifying myself as, “girl with boyfriend” or “girl w/o boyfriend”.
    I’d suspect that that’s a big part of it. I’ve also been thinking a lot about how, for some people their relationship really is the biggest thing in their lives and always will be. They don’t build individual identities or achievements and don’t have much to say for themselves.