Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Special is a Very Subjective Thing

Let’s see if I can write this post without embarrassing myself to death.

Last night I got together with Lostplum and Little Miss Sarcasm (and our lovely helper Rick, mustn’t forget him) to work on our exciting new project.  I can’t wait to tell you about it.  We should be ready to release some of the details by later this week.  Anyway, after an hour or two of working very hard we were taking a break and somehow we got to talking about .

Somehow.

Now, as I’m sure anyone who’s familiar with any of our sites will know, none of us are shrinking violets.  And while we are all very different in our backgrounds, personalities and life experiences, we all have a generally similar attitude towards sex, which is:  sex is good. People should probably have more of it.  I guess, if you wanted to, you could describe us all as sex positive.  But that’s not a term I love.

Anyway, we got to talking about sex and our conversation turned to the weird (I think it’s weird) way in which different people label different sex acts as special. For example, Person A might thing that is more special than vaginal, and only to be saved for men she “really likes/loves” and Person B might think that is a casual act to be done for just about anyone she’s attracted to.

And then factor into that and the fact, as we’ve discussed before, there are some women who actually have anal before “regular” sex because they’re saving themselves for marriage.  And other women who would consider having anal sex with someone they really loved, like their husband, but no one else.  And others who just don’t see the big deal.  It’s all just different ways to have fun (that would be me, btw, I’ll out myself).

I don’t think there are rights and wrongs to any of this.  Different people are comfortable with different things. Different people like different things.  No biggie.  I just think it’s kind of interesting.


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4 to “Special is a Very Subjective Thing”


  1. periken says:

    HAHA I think I know a plethora of guys that want to meet your friend, the virgin into anal.

  2. Mikko Kemppe - Relationship Coach says:

    Yes, that is very interesting. Makes me remember a funny story from my life.

    Living in Louisiana (I am originally from Finland) and playing basketball in a team, I learned another interesting factoid from some of my basketball teammates. One day after away game, couple of my teammates had convinced (or perhaps paid) a restaurant worker to give some blow jobs for some of the guys.

    One of the orchestrators of this party back at the hotel asked me to join the fun. As I gracefully turned down the offer to join the party (not that I am somehow against blow jobs :)) one of my teammates tried to convince me by saying: “But you don’t have to kiss her”. Later, I remember wondering what an interesting comment that was.

    And I have kept wondering was he saying that because where her lips were going to be going or because it was somehow more intimate thing to do. Either way, I thought it was funny.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I think that sex is such a personal act that it means different things to different people. I do think, however, (in my humble opinion) what makes sex special is not necessarily the act itself but with whom the act is performed. I will sleep (and have oral sex) with people I hardly know, and it’s not *special* to me, just very enjoyable. But, it can be a very different thing with someone you love and trust. As for other things that you do with someone such as anal sex, etc., I don’t necessarily *save* it for someone *special* but there is trust involved when it comes to committing certain sexual acts (and people’s comfort levels vary in this regard), and I prefer to have those types of encounters with someone I know, love and trust. It makes me more relaxed and in turn, makes it a more enjoyable experience. Just one girl’s opinion.

    I think the whole virgin anal thing (which I too have read about) is just BIZARRE. But, like I said in the beginning, to each their own. Maybe some of us are enjoying ouselves more than others :).

  4. Filipina Girl says:

    What makes it special is the person you are sharing it with because if you do it with someone you only knew just a couple of hours then it is more into LUST department. If ever I do it, I would share it with someone I love and not with someone who is into fun kind of thing.