Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Musical Memories

Another random thing that you might not know about me (but some longtime readers might have figured this out):  I love and my tastes are all over the place – classic punk, classic jazz, lots of alternative stuff from the 80s.  All over the place but truthfully, mostly old stuff.  It’s not that I don’t like new .  I do.  But I am a creature of habit in so many ways and is one of the things that I look to to bring me comfort and joy.

I tend to go with what I know.  Over and over.  Sometimes the same song over and over.  Yeah, it’s kinda weird.

Add to this that there are many songs, albums, bands that I can’t help but connect to very specific moments of my life.  Moments and people.

Subsequently, there are songs that can bring me to tears.  Songs that are actually happy songs, but because of the memory I have connected with the song…

Like, for example, I can’t hear Pump it Up without thinking of a friend who passed away when we were still in college because we saw Elvis Costello in concert together (I’ve seen him several times, that was the best show) and that was the encore song and we were singing along at the top of our lungs and if I close my eyes and concentrate I can still see her smiling and singing.  Stuff life that.

Anyway, I don’t know if this is something other people experience.  It hit me hard this morning.  I was listening to something on my itunes and the album was over and itunes started to play the next album on the list.  Bad ex memories came flooding back, as if no time had passed in the last couple of years.  And then I started to cry.

Oh fuck, maybe I just needed to cry.  It’s been a crappy week.*

*It really has been a crappy week.  And I guess I’ve done a lousy job of keepy it IRL and offline.  For those of you who know me and have been wondering WTF?, last weekend was the 1 yr anniversary of my mom’s passing.  And it’s been hard.  For me and for my family.  And other things have been hard on top of that. And, y’know, I’m doing the best I can.

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8 to “Musical Memories”

  1. aGirlNamedMe says:

    You wrote: And, y’know, I’m doing the best I can.

    I say: And, y’know, that’s all you can do.

    I hope this week is better.


  2. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been lurking here for awhile. I’m recovering from a crushing breakup, and trying to step back into the waters of online dating without getting drowned. I don’t remember how I found your blog, but I’m so glad that I did. I want to thank you for sharing your story with the world; the hurts, disappointments, and sometimes the hope & joy in meeting a potential partner. You give others hope.
    Anyway, I’m very sorry that you lost your mom just a year ago. It is a terrible blow… but please know that you have comforted many people by showing your vulnerability here and I’m one of those people. Take good care of yourself- and thank you for sharing.

  3. Dating is My Hobby says:

    I totally feel you on the Musical Memories and the random breakdown– I had one on Saturday night. Sometimes you just need a good cry, you know?

  4. Filipina Girl says:

    Every song holds a fragment in our past. I feel for you about the passing of your mother. I got the same experienced every time I listen to my dad’s favorite song, I suddenly shed a tear and miss him so bad. He died two years ago and guess listening to memorable songs is a great way of releasing your hidden feelings and emotions that you silently keep in our heart.

  5. Tales From A Bar Stool says:

    I know what you mean. I can’t help but associate certain songs to certain people and situations. Sometimes I wish I didn’t. Some songs just bring up old memories that I’d rather not think about at certain times. Is there some kind of on off switch out there???

  6. LPS says:

    Oh Simone…I’m so sorry…that one year mark is so hard. You relive every second all over again. No wonder you went to your music and had a good cry. You definitely needed it, and with that pain out come the painful breakful memories, even if you are over them. Take it easy and I’m wishing for only good things to come your way.

  7. Simone Grant says:

    Thanks for your understanding and support – AS ALWAYS. It means a lot to me. More than I think people realize.

  8. Singletude says:

    Awww, I’m so sorry for your loss. :( I’m very close to my mom and can’t imagine what I’d do without her. i can only imagine how you feel.

    I don’t think it’s weird at all that you prefer the music of your past. Actually, I thought most of us did. Isn’t that how the cliche about the generation clash between parents and kids arose? The kids are rocking out to Top 40, and the parents are asking them to turn it down, incredulous that their own children “don’t know what real music is.”

    Songs and also certain scents can whisk me back to a particular time, place, and person like a time machine. So true.