Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.


This week we have a post from an anonymous contributor.  On that note, if any of my male readers out there would like to send me a story for the Sunday feature, I’d be thrilled. You can stay anonymous, or I can credit you for the post with a link to your blog. I can be reached via OnSugar messaging, Twitter or Facebook. Today is Sunday and that means it’s time for another Guy’s Story.  Every Sunday I have posts from male guest authors.

“The more sparks you have, the greater the probability of causing a fire. So I tend to go after multiple girls in parallel when I am . There will be some who say I’m playing the field, and that I don’t really know what I’m looking for.  Confession – they’re right (mostly). I don’t know what type of girl I’m looking for. I’ve tried the type thing, and I did get one fire. And then a lot of ash. So I’ve given up on types.

Last Thursday I went out with Biotech Girl on a first date. My pre-date impression of her was that she was a little too do-right for my taste. Which turned out not to be true, and in fact the reverse was true. We met up at an organic cafe that I suggested, one that had the type of soy sauce that tells you it contains no meat.  So I was left looking like a square. Although after an hour and change talking, we parted ways. She gave me an affectionate hug and told me that she wanted to meet up next week for a drink.

Tonight I went out with Vet Girl on a first date. My pre-date impression of her was that she was probably more of an extrovert than me. I’m an introvert, but I’m not shy. She had emailed me last week with her phone number, but I had to go out of town for business on short notice, and didn’t call her until today. In case you are wondering, not calling her sooner was most likely a mistake on my part. But I was concered about trying to set up a date while I was on the road, and needed the weekend for myself to catch up with my personal life. She said that she had to go to SF tonight to pickup something for her business, and we planned to meet at a fusion place in the Haight.

Vet Girl was a knockout. She had a top on that was split to the sternum, and I had to consciously not look down. I’ve learned that when faced with a situation like this, it’s best to risk failing a test by not looking rather than failing a test by getting caught even glancing. She was blonde, beautiful, and an amazing person. I coughed more than I wanted to; in addition to the oxytocin I was feeling, I had ran for an hour shortly before the date. I offered to pay, but she put forth a $20 and said we should split the bill. I put a credit card in and took the $20; a questionable move, but leaving the $20 there and you risk looking like you are not being polite to the waiter. I hate these decisions.

Vet Girl and I parted ways, and she shook my hand and said it was nice to meet me. My gut said don’t try to schedule a second date here, give it a day and then email her back since that seemed to be where you made a connection. I was a bummed – I was really into this girl, but didn’t think she had an equal interest level in me. So when I got home, I gave Biotech Girl a call and left a voicemail asking her out for a drink later this week. There’s a good chance I won’t see either again; I’ve probably failed tests with both. But dating is complicated and sometimes the only way to start a fire is to make a lot of sparks.”


4 to “Sparks”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I just launched back into the world of online dating and am “playing the field” as well. But I don’t call it being a “player” unless you are saying you are serious to one and dating others at the same time. I am talking to multiple guys, and I assume the same from them. I feel connections stronger with some than others, but I know that online is different than in person. So until I make a real connection IRL with one of them, I will continue talking to all of them. You can never be sure, at least that is what I have figured out about dating.

  2. Kolea says:

    It doesn’t sound like you failed any tests. Sounds like the hottie with the body just wasn’t that into you. Happens!

  3. LPS says:

    Lol…you didn’t fail any tests, but you should have paid if you invited her out, plus you liked her, so it would have been nice to spoil her. But yeah…a handshake…ummm…she’s not into you. Sorry dude! Biotech sounded cute though! You got an affectionate hug – always a good sign! Have a great time when you next see her!

  4. grad student says:

    Ah, but this ties in with Blind (another Sunday Story). The “Vet Girl test”. A couple of comments say it wasn’t a test that he failed and she wasn’t into him. Well, one may not have anything to do with the other. But, here’s the thing: he THOUGHT it may be a test. I would think the same thing. Here’s the thing: If you wear a deep plunging neck line or very high skirt, why? Comfort? Or you like how it makes you look? you are featuring a physical attribute you think is flattering? I mean, if you are displaying then doesn’t it follow you what the attribute noticed and admired? BUT.. often, we (men) feel that looking=getting told off.

    So.. here it is: do we look because you want us to and if we don’t it is seen as an insult
    OR is it insulting to look? (Now, not talking about spending an hour talking to you without actually seeing your face; staring etc is certainly not desired) Just saying that when “It’s not what you said, its how you said it” or “It’s not what you said, it’s what you DIDN’T say” Or “Well, if you don’t know, I certainly am not telling you” too many mind games. Be honest and straight up; that’s what you want, right/