First, let me state that this post is not meant to offend anyone. Anyone who reads it and is subsequently offended should, perhaps, set aside some time for self-reflection as the only people who would be offended by this post are those who are full of shit. And if you’re full of shit and I’m pointing out that you are, in fact, full of shit then you have no right to be offended. I’m just stating the truth.
Each and every day I check to see what brings people to my blog. A big chunk of my visitors come to me directly, without any referral like google or twitter. But a large subgroup does find me via search engines. And I love reading their search terms. Frequently they google questions like, “if he hasn’t called for 4 days does he not like me” or “how do I know if a guy just wants to get laid”(both real). The variety is endless.
I don’t really understand why people would be googling these questions, but there are lots of things I don’t understand.
Like why some people think they have the right to call themselves dating and relationship experts.
As you all know, I spend hours every week surfing the web. And I skim the content of at least a dozen “experts” sites/columns. Most of them are full of shit. Not only are they full of shit, but some of the advice they dole out seems unkind, unhelpful and frequently downright bad, IMO.
I just don’t get it.
I am not a relationship expert, but a few times a week I have readers send me emails asking for my opinion. I always give my honest opinion and I always tell people that they shouldn’t take anything I say too seriously, because what do I know – not much.
In the end, my advice usually boils down to a few simple things – be kind, be honest, don’t be too willing to trust someone who hasn’t earned it, don’t be afraid to try, enjoy your life. I avoid placing blame or encouraging anger. I avoid rants. I tell people that I wish them luck and that they shouldn’t be too hard on themselves. That everyone makes mistakes. Not much more than that.
But from what I read from the different experts, that’s all really bad advice. Really bad. Single people can’t be happy. Someone’s always at fault. Rules must be followed. People must be changed. Books must be read.
Yeah, I’m actually mad about this. I just read a couple of spectacularly awful things this week and I’m done pretending that it doesn’t matter. It does matter. When single women and men are constantly being given the message that a) being single is a bad thing and b) you’re single because you’re doing something WRONG – it matters. To me.
OK, rant over.
Tags: dating, expert, google, Rant, single