Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Let Me Buy You a Drink

The other night I was out with a couple of friends, Lostplum and Alejandra (anyone who follows any of us on Twitter already knows all about it).  It was a girl’s night out in the classic sense.  We went to an easygoing local with too-strong drinks and good .   The plan was to hang out and have a good time.  No men were factored into the picture (it’s SO not the place a girl would go to meet guys).

We’d been there of couple hours and had plenty to drink (I’d already said I’d had enough) when one of the local characters started to talk to/flirt with us.  He was a much older gentleman and so he wasn’t realistically trying to hit on us.  It was all in good fun.  Anyway, he ended up buying us another round (or two?) of drinks.

By the time we all left, we were beyond smashed.  Beyond.

Anyway, this got me to thinking about the whole “let me buy you a drink” thing.  Men in bars buying drinks for women who are already .  It happens all the time. I’m not blaming anyone or pointing fingers.  Everyone is responsible for monitoring their own intake of alcohol. And if someone isn’t responsible enough to do that then they shouldn’t be drinking.

But the whole, “let me buy you a drink” thing – it’s one of the reasons I stopped hanging out in bars (I used to spend quite a bit of time in bars, and then I stopped).  Because it’s so easy to say yes.  And then the next thing you know, anything can happen.


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10 to “Let Me Buy You a Drink”


  1. DaveTheBrit says:

    This is very true. As a guy who has lots of girl friends who are very attractive, most go out to places where they know they will be get drinks bought for them.
    When asked why?
    “because it is free and I’m poor”
    Now its this attitude that annoys me, because who will look after them if they get spiked. Which has happened to 3 friends…

  2. lostplum says:

    the next thing you know is right! I usually have to be very drunk (case and point that night) before I let a guy buy me a drink, and at that point it’s a bad idea. ….. Oh and I think you are wrong. Said much much much older gentleman has texted me twice since then ;)

  3. Tales From A Bar Stool says:

    The best is when the man buys you a drink without clinging on. When he just wants to buy a pretty girl a drink – it’s an ego boost and a power trip more than anything.
    I’m also not afraid to decline a drink sent my way when it’s from an undesirable…

  4. Simone Grant says:

    -DaveTheBrit
    It’s funny, I never go to the places where I know men will buy me a drink. I tend to find the whole practice kind of creepy. The other night was an exception.
    -lostplum
    My general rule of thumb is that if you give a creepy older man your number you should expect him to use it. ICK. Why did you give him the number?
    -Tales From A Bar Stool
    I don’t have any experience with men buying drinks and not clinging on :-)

  5. Kate Morris says:

    I am so with you. I have never been one for bars as places to meet people. As such, I met my last boyfriend at a sports bar, but was very much working and not drunk. Bars in the classic sense though are not good places to meet people. The buy you a drink is lame as well. I always feel bad for the guys that really think that they have to do that.

  6. Photos of Pinay says:

    I find it weird if a guy buys you a drink in the Bar.Why because I know they are interested to have sex with you.

  7. Filipina Girl says:

    The idea of buying a drink is such an old school pick up line. However, I do not have anything against buying of drink approach because it is up to individual on how they handle the situation especially when a man send signals that he wants to get on her pants.

  8. E. says:

    Oh so true!! Sometimes that one line can start a ripple effect!! And not always a good one…………….. lol

  9. periken says:

    I heart girls nights out. Spending time with my girls and laughing and being silly is my stress relief – whether in jeans or cocktail dresses, drinks tend to be sent over. I guess there is just something about girls laughing and having fun and not hunting for men that draws them in. As long as I can see it’s clear path from the bar to my table, I will drink it. I love FRINKS! (free drinks, yes you can use it).

  10. Simone Grant says:

    -Kate Morris
    I don’t exactly feel bad for guys on this one. They don’t have to play that game. I’m not more likely to talk to a guy who buys me a drink. But, I think the guys who buy drinks think that it “gets” them something.
    -Photos of Pinay
    I think that you can assume that any guy in any bar wants to have sex with you. That’s just guys.
    -Filipina Girl
    Yep, everyone is responsible for their own behavior.
    -E.
    I know I would’ve been much happier if I’d turned down that last drink. MUCH.
    -periken
    I love it – FRINKS! I’ve never heard than before.