Recently I’ve become aware that one of my mom’s little “sayings” wasn’t nearly as common or everyday as I’d previously thought.
Growing up, I must’ve heard at least a thousand and one times that it was, “just as easy to marry rich as it is to marry poor”. It never occurred to me that that was rude or strange. I thought it was just one of those random things that all mothers said to their daughters.
It’s only now that I’m much, much older (old enough to have teenagers of my own, which freaks me the hell out) that I realize how truly bizarre it was to have my mother say that to me, over and over, for all of those years.
And every time I mention it in conversation, it becomes clear to me that other people think it’s odd, too.
But here’s the thing. The very fact of her saying that to me over and over, made me less likely to do it. I mean, made me less likely to be interested in marrying or even being interested in a guy just for his money/position. Because it was something I’d been thinking about my whole life. Long before it became a real possibility. And so when it did become a possibility, I already knew that it wasn’t something I’d be interested in. Marrying rich. That money wasn’t something I could ever comfortably tally into the romantic equation.
So here’s what I want to know, did anyone else hear that from their mom? Or anything like it? Or was I the only one who’s mom decided (way back when I was in elementary school) that my best chance for a successful future was to marry some rich dude and live off of him for the rest of my life?
Tags: mom, money, Philip Larkin