Last week I mentioned how weird this was for me, trying to negotiate my new reality (gosh that sounds so dramatic). My new reality = I’ve met a guy who I like and we’ve gone on a couple of dates and because I immediately knew he was the kind of person who’d get it/be cool with it I told him about the blog on our first date.
This is entirely new territory for me.
Anyway, I’ve decided to not be overly cautious or self-conscious in what I say about him. I will stick to my blog policy and hopefully that will be enough.
Mr. Nicepost, like almost every other guy I’ve met via online dating in the past few years lied on his profile. He is many years older than he stated online (more than 5, less than 10). I’d guessed that before we met (I’ve become very good at guessing men’s ages) and then was 100% sure of it after our first date. He’s a handsome man and has aged well, but he does look older than the age he was pretending to be (to my finely trained eyes).
His next birthday celebration came up in conversation during our second date and I came out and asked him his real age. I made it clear that I was cool with the age he is. And I AM. He’s no where near the top of my desirable age range for guys (which I pointed out to him).
As I’ve said many times, and written about here and elsewhere, I pretty much expect these kinds of lies from guys. And the men who lie have stopped feeling bad about doing it. They feel they are justified (if I didn’t shave the years off my age, no one would reply…). But it still annoys the fuck out of me.
I’m 39. I don’t look 39, but I am. And I clearly state that I’m 39 on my online profile, even though I know there are plenty of guys who won’t be interested in dating me because they see that as too old. I try to see it as their loss. Does it annoy me that some really interesting looking men (in their 40s) state that the maximum age of the women they’re looking to date is 35, or even 33? Yes. Of course. But I’m not going to start shaving 5 years off just so that I can get more dates. Nope. I’m too HONEST.
Does this mean I’m thinking bad things about Mr. Nicepost? No, not at all. We’ve had a couple good dates and have our 3rd planned for Tuesday (assuming he doesn’t read this and cancel). I just think it’s strange and frustrating how otherwise wonderful guys seem to think it’s OK to lie on their online profile. And I’d be happier if they didn’t. Lie.
Tags: age, dating, honesty, liar, online dating profiles