My insomnia has been out of control lately. I’m sure it’s a sign that I should be doing something (everything) differently, but in the meantime I cope with late night reading, TV and hulu. Which brings me to last night and the fact that I was watching Sex and the City. It’s never been one of my favorite shows – shocking, I know. But I could just never relate to those characters or their lives.
Anyway, I ended up watching it last night and an episode I really like came on. Carrie’s beautiful new Manolo’s (very expensive shoes) were taken from her friend’s baby shower. Her friend was at first unconcerned and then realized the polite thing to do would be to offer to pay for them. When she heard how much they cost, she balked. Carrie pointed out to her (the friend) that she, too, used to spend that much on shoes and her response was, “that was before I had a life”.
Because getting married and having kids is having a life. And anything before that is NOT a life.
Anyway, it all worked out in the end. It was SATC. Sidenote: I’ve spent thousands of dollars over the years flying to weddings, buying gifts, going to showers, etc. Perhaps I should marry myself and register for a bunch of booty at Williams Sonoma?
I just thought it was bizarre that I saw that last night as just yesterday I’d read a couple of great and relevant posts on a similar theme. The first was in Blogher by lauriewrites, No Kids: What Am I Missing?. I’d retweeted it, but decided not to comment/jump into the fray. It’s a fabulous post and I strongly encourage everyone to read it, whether you have kids or consider yourself childfree, childless, or accidentally childless. I’d label myself childless and cool with it, in case anyone cares.
Similarly fabulous, IMO, is Doree Shafrir’s piece in Jezebel titled When the Mommy Wars Wore Shoulder Pads on the release of Thirtysomething on DVD. Towards the end, she writes, “Feminism is, I think, also about empathy, about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and acknowledging that what is best for one woman isn’t necessarily the choice that every woman should make.” I couldn’t agree with her more. And it saddens me that so many of us (real women, not the ones on TV) seem preoccupied with tearing each other down. Perhaps as a way to make us feel better about the choices and sacrifices we’ve made?
I feel I have to add something here about how much I love and respect all of my friends who are moms. The stay at home moms and the ones who chose to go back to work after a short leave. I do. This isn’t lip service. And I think they all know that.
I’d also be lying to you, my readers and my friends, and myself if I didn’t admit that sometimes the moms in my life have made me feel like my life was less valuable than theirs. That everything that is important to me could easily be put into their “before I had a life” box. And that I have wanted to smack a few of them upon hearing things like, “you can’t possibly understand how much more meaningful my life is now”.
Once again, I’m not sure I have a point. Just that I do, actually, have a life now. It’s the life I choose to have. And I feel that it deserves respect (most days).
Tags: BlogHer, jezebel, satc, single