Earlier this week I was having a conversation with a couple of my female friends about guys and game. The gist of the conversation was this – if a guy really has no confidence/can’t talk to girls AT ALL and he feels that, for whatever reason, spending lots of money on one of those “skills workshops” is the way to solve his problems then he should. We’re not going to judge him.
Even if it does seem like there are better ways to spend the money. It’s his money.
The thing is, great game is only going to get a guy so far. We figured that a guy could coast on game alone until about the age of 27. And then after that, he better damn well have some substance behind it. Otherwise, he’s going to be stuck dating a bunch of really vacuous chicks (and if he’s into vacuous chicks, then that’s not an issue).
Take Mr. Nicepost, for example. Mr. Nicepost has awesome game. I watched as he flirted with some girls who were a good 20 years younger than him at the GiveAndDate party the other night. I wasn’t jealous, btw. I thought it was kind of awesome. But I have a strange sense of humor.
And sure, his great game could get him plenty of pussy (oh please, don’t be shocked). It wouldn’t, however, get him far with me. I need a guy to be able to sit down and have a real, substantive conversation with me. Otherwise he’s not going to get past the second date.
Anyway, I’ve come up with a list of things that will earn a guy a second look. No one of these is enough to close the deal. But find me a guy who can check a lot of these off the list and there’s a pretty good chance I’m going to want to get to know him better. Much better. This is my list, but I wouldn’t be surprised if lots of women over the age of 30 found these things hot, too.
- He’s spent time abroad. I’m not talking about 2 weeks in Cancun or a summer working at Club Med.
- He speaks at least one language other than English. And yes, the more languages he speaks the more impressed I am.
- He’s well read. I admit I’m a book snob. If an online dating site asks about a guy’s reading habits and he says that he either, A) only has time for the sports page or B) loved the Da Vinci Code, then I’m going to stop reading. Conversely, a guy who mentions one of my favorite (and more obscure) authors can get away with a lot.
- He’s open-minded. This can be hard to assess, I realize. But men who are quick to judge, blame and label tend to be narrow-minded and oh, so unsexy.
- He’s willing to admit his mistakes (This is very different than wallowing in self-pity). No one makes it to the age of 30 without making any major mistakes. I can’t be turned on by someone who can’t admit his flaws and errors.
- He’s passionate about something. OK, I realize that that’s vague. Let me explain. I think it’s really very hot when a guy has a career or hobby that he loves so much that he loses track of time when he’s working on it. Not because he has to, but because he wants to.
- He doesn’t have a lot of regrets. Again, this might sound vague and so I’m going to give you a concrete example. Take Mr. Nicepost (Perhaps I should’ve asked him if this is OK? Oh, well, too late now.) – he’s lived in many different cities and a few different countries. Why? BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. I’m not interested in guys who are going to be wondering what their lives might have been like if only they’d taken more chances.
So tell me ladies, what would be on your list?
Tags: game, online dating profile picture, pick-up artist