Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Cat’s Out of the Bag

There are so many things I can say about my date on Saturday.  So many.  Here’s the 6 word versionLiked him enough to be myself.

Fast forward a couple/few hours into the date.  We’d left the bar we met at to go to his favorite restaurant (one of the best meals I’ve had in ages, btw).  And it was all very easy and good.  Lots of (I’m sure we made many people uncomfortable).

And then it hit me, a bit like a smack in the face, that he’s probably the first man I’ve met in the past year who I was sure would be cool with the .  That I could tell him about it and give him the site name and address and that he’d smile and be fine with it.  Have a sense of humor and perspective about it.  Be able to read about me with other guys and not get all territorial and insecure.

And, that there was really no point in waiting a few dates or months to tell him (which has always been my tentative game plan – meet a guy, like him enough to get into a relationship, then tell him).  That waiting even until the second date was silly.  Because he was going to be cool with it.  And, in fact, not telling him right away would have been the wrong thing to do.  Because he’s such a totally open and accepting person.

So I did it.  I told him about it.  And he did smile and laugh.  And we talked a little bit about it over dinner.  And then we dropped it.  Because, really, it’s not that important.  This blog isn’t me.  It’s just something I do.

Anyway, enough about the blog.  The date ended very well.  It almost didn’t end that night.  He made it very clear (asking twice) that he wanted me to go back to his place -> for drinks.  And I made it very clear that I liked him too much to do that.  That it’s been my experience that sex on the usually equals not too many dates afterwards.  And that as much as I really wanted to go back to his place (and I really did) that I was hoping we could get to know each other better, over time.

He said all the right things about definitely wanting to see me again.  And we made tentative plans for Wednesday night, then exchanged texts/emails on Sunday.

Hmm.  I wonder what I should call him, here?  Maybe Mr. Knows?

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15 to “The Cat’s Out of the Bag”

  1. Catherinette says:

    Hurray! That’s pretty big news that you’re willing to spill the blog beans. Fingers crossed that everything turns out well.

  2. Sports Dating says:

    Keep my finger crossed, let us know if everything turns out well.

  3. pansophy says:


  4. free dating service says:

    NICE! need to know how it turns out!

  5. starangel82 says:

    Yay for good dates!

  6. SimplyLSC says:

    I’m excited for you! Hope things go well in the future!

  7. MKL says:

    Let’s say you two really become close, maybe even date a lot, start a relationship… Then subsequently, your blog will change, right? Or can you still write in the same way about him, when you know he might read it? I personally wouldn’t tell as fast, it would affect my writing. Then again, it’s you, not me :)

  8. Erin Korogodsky says:

    Thank you for this blog – Love reading about your ups (and downs). It makes me feel so connected that I’m not the only one going through this roller coaster ride. AND when I hear that things go well for you, even if its only one date, it makes it so much easier to get through the bad dates – good stuff is out there! WHOO HOO Simone!

  9. Simone Grant says:

    Thanks everyone. Yes, this is pretty huge. And also a huge relief. For a long time now I’ve been living a split life, in some ways.

    I just met this guy and so I have no idea if we’re going to make it past date #2. But it feels really good to have this part of my life be something I can talk about and share.

    As to concerns that the blog will change – well, I’ve written about the men I was seeing before. And I’ve always had a policy of withholding certain details. Things that could/would embarrass them. So I don’t see things changing all that much.

  10. pups4me says:

    Erin couldn’t have said what I was thinking any better—it’s so nice to feel connected in this crazy dating world we live in. Hearing about a good date gives me hope that I’ll have one soon :0)

  11. Tom Miller says:

    Good work, SG. Nice self-restraint too. That’s a toughie. For some reason, I really wished you would have called this post “The Cat’s Out Of The Blog.” Would that have been a little too Diablo Cody?

  12. Simone Grant says:

    Erin and pups4me
    I’m so happy when I read comments like yours. That’s so the point. When I was starting my blog I reached out to the blogosphere and looked for dating blogs and found a lot of them. But so many seemed to be making it seem funnier, or happier, sexier than it all is. When really, dating is just a lot of ups and downs -> just crazy. At least that’s the way it’s always been for me. So glad there are people out there who read my blog and feel connected.
    Thanks darling. Yes, I am actually capable of restraint, on occasional. When I really need it. Just not when it comes to chicken wings or onion rings. And yes, that would have been way too Diablo Cody (then again, she’s famous and all I have is this little blog…)

  13. Singletude says:

    Oooh, this one sounds like he might be a keeper! Feeling absolutely, 100% comfortable in someone’s presence is so underrated. I think it’s THE foundation for a good relationship. Hope there’s more to come!

  14. Shannia says:

    Hey SG, I have been away from blogs so long I am just now catching up. I saw yesterday that SMB in NOVa told his new partner about the blog and it pretty much killed it. How do you feel about that? Do you think that now that Mr Nicepost knows about the blog you’ll filter the information you write? I am just curious this morning.

  15. Simone Grant says:

    I agree that being comfortable with someone is underrated. It’s something I look for/very important to me. As to whether he’s a keeper, only time will tell. I lost faith in my instincts years ago.
    I’ve always filtered my posts somewhat, under that assumption that if I ever got into a serious relationship I’d tell the guy about my blog. The WHOLE TRUTH only comes out after I stop seeing someone. I don’t think this will be all that much different. I think.