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I Do NOT Want to Have Sex Like a Porn Star

First, let me start out by saying that I have nothing against .  Nothing at all.  I’m not personally a fan (Seriously, it doesn’t turn me on.  Instead, I find myself feeling embarrassed for the actors and actresses.) but have no issues with it.

That said, I was so happy to read the posts in by Tracy Clark-Flory (I’ve totally been loving lately, btw.  If you don’t read it you should.) titled Generation XXX: Having Sex Like Porn Stars and Details by Eric Spitznagel titled How Internet Porn is Changing Teen Sex (the Broadsheet article led me to the one in Details).

Both articles talk, in great and graphic detail, about the fact that porn has changed the way young people view and have .  The very act of it.  If a person sees a lot porn before they actually become sexually active or while they’re becoming sexually active they’re going to model they’re sexual behaviors after what they see in porn.  The of porn becomes, to them, what “normal” should look like (no, I don’t actually believe there is such a thing as normal ).

As much as I like both posts, I found it unsatisfying that neither addressed the way porn can affect the lives of older adults.

I haven’t had that much experience with this.  I guess because the guys I date are older.  They’ve had years of experience by the time they get to me, and so I guess they’re less impressionable.    But there have been a few times when I’ve been with men and I KNOW that they either A) watch loads of porn or B) started having sex later on, after they were exposed to porn (this was the case when I was dating someone younger, years ago).

How did I know this?  They fuck differently.  Very differently.  There are certain positions that are “for the camera” positions that just don’t feel good or natural.  Angles that just don’t occur without a lot of effort.

And yes, they love the money shots, too.

Now, I’m pretty open-minded.  More open-minded than your average person, I’d guess.  And my list of things I’ll do or try is a heck of a lot longer than the list of things I won’t.  But when it comes to having sex like a porn star, I’d rather not.  Seriously.  I do not want to have sex like a porn star.  It’s not good for me.

In fact, it kind of sucks.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe it was just those guys who sucked.  Maybe.  It’s possible.

PS, I will not give more sexually graphic details in the comments.


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10 to “I Do NOT Want to Have Sex Like a Porn Star”


  1. AF says:

    I hope you have sex any way you like and no other. Incidentally, having sex like a porn star usually means a lot of grunting and groaning and lots of athletic action interspersed with some guy shouting “cut!”

    However, someone open minded and willing to consider/talk about anything to do with sex and what each partner wants is about all any of us can ask for. Indeed, many people would be over the moon if they were able to get to such an uninhibited state of affairs. Sad but true.

  2. OpinionatedGift says:

    Ages ago I watched out takes from some porn video I had at the time. Nina Hartley was in the midst of an act (I’ll behave and not go into detail) when the director stuck his head into the shot and said cut.

    Hartley’s faced soured and she reached up and grabbed the director by his face..”I was about to cum, you asshole!!!!”

    I definitely don’t want to have sex like a pornstar.

  3. T- says:

    I’ve no interest in behaving like or having sex like a porn star.

    And for the record, porn vids should *never* include outtakes. The final cuts are painful enough as it is.

  4. onedatewonder says:

    I actually think porn outtakes would be unaccountably hilarious. But perhaps I’m just twisted like that.

    As for sex like a porn star, like you I’ll pass.

  5. OpinionatedGift says:

    The out takes were pretty funn actually and that particular one cracks me up just remembering it.

  6. TerrySimpson says:

    I knew there was an advantage to being older!
    Porn does very little for me – after five minutes I flip to the news. Watching it longer makes me want to shower (and not a cold one).
    I guess the other advantage of being older is having been exposed to the H1N1 swine flu as a kid, I don’t have to worry about that.
    Sex is wonderful – it is free, it is giving, it is loving, and can be a lot of things- but why act?
    Reminds me of the old joke- why do men want to be in a three some with two women? So when he is done he can watch ESPN and let them do whatever they want

  7. LeJa says:

    Somebody just wrote me to me telling me they have always wanted to have sex with a girl and treat her like a porn star. At first I didn’t know what that meant, but I then he explained. Like you said in your blog, its all about getting the money shots, not about pleasing the women. In other words, I am like you.. I do not want to have sex like a porn star.

  8. Shannia says:

    I learned from a porn addict how to have sex. I was 21 and grew up in a very relious household so until I left home, there was no way I would ever have sex. Plus I am 36, so go back 15 years and internet was not around. So I met this guy and we hit it off and we start having sex and he’s all into dirty talk and money shots and other porn things I am not going to mention. I loved him and I figured this is sex so I did it all. Somethings I enjoyed and still do, some stuff I no longer practice. He always made sure I had a great time too but bottom line is, He was highly influenced by porn and there was never anything romantic and sensual about our f******, it was never lover making. We where toguether 3 years. The boyfriend that followed was loving and tender and WOW, this is what I wanted sex to be. I feel sorry for teenage girls that are giving up the innocence way to young and their self respect.

  9. JayCataldo says:

    I think almost all guys have watched porn before they actually had sex. The problem is that porn is getting progressively more twisted and violent as viewers become sensitized to “normal” porn. This creates a variety of problems such as neuroplastic change in the brain (aka: inability to get turned on by “normal” sex and “real” women). This is actually a HUGE problem that nobody talks about and is one of the reasons we are seeing more and more 20-30 year old’s resorting to Viagra.

    But then of course, there’s the big misconception that most women actually enjoy getting banged like a porn star. While there’s a small percentage who are really into it, I think this has less to do with the actual physical sensations, then the emotional pleasure they feel when their partner is really enjoying themselves. Also, since most young women have no clue what quality sex is (they’ve never had it), they’re not encouraging their lovers to step their game up.

    Anyways, I personally feel there’s nothing wrong with porn-style sex as long as it’s used sparingly. It should be thought of as just another tool in your arsenal to give women a comprehensive sexual experience. But first and foremost, you should determine what your lover responds to and (at least 80% of the time) tailor the sexual experience to suit her tastes. If you can consistently give her the pleasure she craves, you’ll hear no complaints when you decide to go all porno on her ass.

  10. Singletude says:

    I’m with you. Can’t stand guys who want me to like sex the way THEY want me to like sex. Luckily, I haven’t encountered this too many times.