Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

No, It Wasn’t Good For Me

You know I love my friends over at YourTango.  As far as lady mags go, theirs is pretty cool (I have nothing against women or magazines, but magazines that target women tend to be overly obsessed with celebrities, make-up, fashion and ‘pleasing your man’ – shit I really don’t care that much about).  Today they ran a post in their Love Buzz column called, Why You Shouldn’t Fake An Orgasm, a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

The thing is, they missed the most important reason, IMHO.  I reread it a couple of times, trying to figure out how they could’ve been so sloppy, and then it hit me – the post came from MomLogic (different magazines and blogs will occasionally run their stuff on for additional exposure, I guess).  Now, I have absolutely nothing against MomLogic.  But a mom is writing from a very specific perspective (or, that one was).

Anyway, enough about the why… Here is my number one reason why a woman should never ever an :  because then her partner will have the delusional belief that he is good in bed, even if he’s not.  I strongly believe that the number one reason that there are so many bad lovers in the adult heterosexual male population is that there are so many women faking orgasms.  The women, wanting to be polite, or just to get it over with, it.  And then the guy thinks he knows what he’s doing (when he really, REALLY doesn’t).  And then that relationship falls apart and he takes his bad moves on to the next woman.  And the next.  And so on.

Women, we must put an end to this right now.  We have the power.  STOP FAKING IT!  Make sure that the men in your life know the difference between a good fuck and a bad fuck.  Teach them, if you must.  Please.  The planet will be a much happier place.


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12 to “No, It Wasn’t Good For Me”


  1. wwfchic says:

    currently with a new guy – who i think i’m going to marry – and he always asks “did you?” and i feel horrible saying no – but i’ve been saying it – i just tried to explain that it’s harder for women and that even if i don’t – it doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy it – then i just make sure that sometimes i help the situation along – so he can see the difference of when i do! if i’m going to be in this for the long haul – he’s gotta figure it out!

  2. iamalejandra says:

    AMEN!! I never fake it, because then you can’t go back and say that you did. And then you’re stuck with complete bed #FAIL.

  3. OpinionatedGift says:

    On behalf of all men who actually care I say THANK YOU. Faking it doesn’t help ANYone.

  4. iChristy says:

    If a guy has to ask “Did you?” then you didn’t. I had a guy who was so bad in bed that I gave him a complex by telling him about it. He can no longer last longer than 2 minutes in bed. Literally. The last time was the last time. After her finished he asked “did you go?” and I said “no, but you can… Get up , get dressed and get the fuck out; did you actually think I enjoyed that? You scrw like you’re still in high school”
    Faking it is horrible and in no way am I going to encourage lack of talent in the bedroom .

  5. Tales From A Bar Stool says:

    Big confession: I’m a faker. Or at least, I was. For years. It got to the point where I just wanted it to be over and they wouldn’t give up until I came… so I faked. They tried and tried but just couldn’t get me to climax. A lot (most) guys don’t get it… some women just can’t climax with penetration. It takes a bit more effort on their parts.

    Ok… I vow from this point forward never to fake it again. For reals.

  6. Momma Sunshine says:

    I think I love you.

  7. Veka says:

    Before I even read your third paragraph, I tried to think of my number one reason (without reading the article) and you hit the nail on the head. If you fake it, and keep faking it, they’re going to keep doing what they’re doing and not change it up and try to make it better because they think it’s working. Communication is key, and maybe you can work it out together where he is able to do it better for you. Men are far from mind-readers, so tell them what you want!!

  8. onedatewonder says:

    Yes! My primary argument against faking it is that it encourages bad behavior. Which is a funny (to me) way of saying exactly what you’re saying. Women, we need to assume that if I a guy is getting naked with us, all parties are interested in having and giving fun. If you aren’t getting your fun….. say something! And for the love of whatever, tell him how you *can* get your fun. Not only will his possible future partners thank you, but he will as well. And you already know what you stand to gain from the deal.

  9. Simone Grant says:

    -wwfchic
    Excellent. You’re doing exactly what you need to do to ensure a lifestyle of happiness together. As opposed to “humoring” him.
    -iamalejandra
    Totally, and then how are you going to expect improvement in the future. He’s just going to keep to the same BAD thing.
    -OpinionatedGift
    We women appreciate your support.
    -iChristy
    LMAO The really sad bit is that some woman before you probably faked it and so he thought he was at least adequate. Ugh.
    -Tales From A Bar Stool
    Well exactly. Some of us don’t. And so what? The key is communication, them knowing whether or not it’s good or bad. The big fake O just destroys it. I’m so glad you came over to the side of truth.
    -Momma Sunshine
    I love you too, dear.
    -Veka
    Yep. At that is horrible. Because if you fake it once then they expect you to always orgasm from the same thing. They tend to think we are robots that way.
    -onedatewonder
    Totally, I see not faking it as a win-win proposal. You have the possibility of gaining a guy who learns what you want and he might just learn to be a decent lover.

  10. DentalBabe says:

    I have never understood why anyone would fake it. Guys need to know if they didn’t do good, or maybe that you don’t cum all the time. Any chick who is faking, is making it so that guys are lousy for the rest of us. JUST SAY NO!! lol.

  11. AF says:

    My opinion? Never EVER fake it? Few people know enough about each other on that intimate level the first time and, if you fake it instead of you BOTH saying what you like and liked and disliked, then it ain’t ever gonna get better, is it?

  12. dazediva says:

    Definitely NO faking !!!
    Like everyone else out here, it’s not worth it. Your partner has to know what you like and don’t like – and what works for you …. what might not have worked with an ex; might just work with a new partner – so the key is to be vocal =) and the men love it

    I did date a guy who’s idea of foreplay and sex comprised of a whole 10 minutes … combined ! and I had to tell him that it was just not working for me ! so he asked for tips … and I think by the time we parted ways 2 months later – he was thanking me ;)

    It’s our duty (men and women both) to let our partners know what we like and don’t like =)


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