Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

It’s Game Time

I’m just full of surprises.  This week we have a second/bonus from Blair Hickman (a chick, it’s shocking), one of my buddies over at Ignighter. Frequent readers of this blog should be amused by the topic.

“At Avenue this weekend, one of those lounges without a name on the door that coddles mainly models and billionaires, I met a man. First, he teased me, a guest at his table, for not introducing myself to him. Then we talked for about 30 minutes–schools, jobs, music, hometowns. He smiled and he touched, and he perfectly balanced his asshole banter with genuine interest. And then he bet that I wouldn’t get up and dance.

What a move. This man had played his with near perfection, luring in a dating blogger who knows better and thus proving my post from last week.   Incidentally, the post also sparked quite the debate on Roissy in DC, a blog all about Game. There, Game is an art form, a muscle to be worked, and it is just one of many blogs that form a support group for men everywhere looking to get laid. This online niche publishes articles like “The 16 Commandments of Poon” and “How to Keep the Heat Without the Commitment.” I could be mad about it. But you know what? I’m not.

Each of these articles is based on the art of wooing a woman. Now, unless Webster’s Dictionary is mistaken, this word dates back before the 12th century, taking the form “wogian” in Old English and “wowen” in Middle English. Men in the 1800s promoted this art form at cigar and gentlemen’s clubs. We have email chains and blogs. They wooed. Men today “got game.” It’s a historically enduring, and endearing, process.

The issue is that somewhere along the way, wooing became a means to an end. If ya catch my drift. I’m not naive, and I’m sure Romeo also had a Joelle and Napoleon a Marie, but in the age of Twitter and iPhones and private emails, playing the game solely for sex seems to have become more ubiquitous. It’s expressed in the blogosphere’s demeaning, crude titles (16 Commandments of Poon) and sections (Female Photo Submission), and promotes a generalist belief that women are nothing more than walking vaginas.

But what if we could somehow change the product’s end results? What if men read these articles and applied the tactics to women they respected, used the methods for good rather than promiscuity? If we’re talking in terms of fame, it would be like Spencer and Heidi Pratt vs. Brad and Angelina.  Speidi uses their fame for money, while Brangelina uses it to save the world. So, in terms of dating, Speidi is to manwhores, as Brangelina is to gentlemen. How can we equip men with a solid strategy to woo a woman, yet still turn them into Brangelinas? That is the question.

For the time being, I hope men keep reading these blogs with a grain of salt. Game works because, truthfully, women like to be wooed. And if you study and practice, you will win when it’s game time.”


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6 to “It’s Game Time”


  1. aguy says:

    eh, trying to change people is just going to lead to frustration. plenty of guys looking for sex w/ commitment (some girls like it too, or so i’ve heard), and plenty of guys who want a relationship.

    If a man wrote a post about trying to “reform” slutty women, “change the product’s end results” and make them less promiscuous, I think there would be howls of feminist outrage…

  2. BetterNow says:

    Hmmm. I was at Avenue this Saturday. Always one of my favorite places to pop up at. Crowd was a little off and the men there are never my type. But the music is certainly enough to make us dance the night away….

  3. drumdance says:

    I’m not an expert at Game, but I’ve read a lot about it and applied some of it to meeting my current girlfriend. It’s not all about notches on the bedpost, and if you read online you’ll find that many in the “seduction community” are opposed to that.

  4. Simone Grant says:

    -aguy
    I think we read 2 different posts. I don’t see any suggestions that anyone change. Just a smart woman pointing out that the reason all of this “game” nonsense works is become women want to be wooed. And that it would be really awesome if there were guys putting that much effort into trying to meet women for serious relationships, as opposed to getting laid.
    -BetterNow
    I seem to be missing out on all the fun:-(
    -drumdance
    I’m not going to get into a discussion about that. I’m just going to point out that a simple google search will bring up dozens of sites that are all about the notches in the bedpost.

  5. Singletude says:

    I refer to this behavior as predatory dating, and it does seem like it’s becoming more and more prevalent. I think there are already guys out there who use the art of seduction, if you will, to win a woman’s heart, not just her body. Those are the “good catches” that most women seem to want–the charming, clever, confident, sophisticated, chivalrous guys with honorable intentions. I think the predatory daters are well aware of what they’re doing and why. They’re guys who don’t want commitment and don’t care about the feelings of the women involved. They want a few moments of physical pleasure and an ego boost and that’s it. I wish there were a good way to convince them not to use their charm in a predatory way, but whoever figures out how to do that will be end up with more money than Dr. Phil!

  6. aguy says:

    Maybe I was misreading it? But here is what she said: “But what if we could somehow change the product’s end results? … . How can we equip men with a solid strategy to woo a woman, yet still turn them into Brangelinas? ”

    What she wrote about “Brangelinas” and “Speidi” (who?? what??) struck me as awfully muddled and unclear, but didn’t it seem like she’s saying it would be nice if we could “turn” guys into people who want serious relationships? Which is unrealistic and can only lead to frustration. Most guys will eventually want to settle down, but on their own timetable, when they get bored with playing the field…

    Lastly, I feel like most guys would be willing to put serious effort into wooing a girl for a serious relationship if she was the right girl, one they viewed as a real catch. I sure was…