So I had that first date on Tuesday night. The one that was really short. He still hasn’t gotten in contact with me. I haven’t gotten in contact with him, either. And I have no intention of doing so. I’m 100% positive that, in this case, it would be the wrong thing to do.
It took us ages to arrange this date. We first met online months ago. There was a brief flurry of emails and then he disappeared for a long while. I don’t take stuff like that seriously, as per my Lesson #1 for surviving Online Dating. And then he reemerged with an apology about being completely consumed with work. And then there was a slow trickle of emails, a brief phone conversation, a failed attempt at another get together and then finally that date. I very much got the sense that it was low on his priority list. But I didn’t take it personally, if that makes sense. He hadn’t met me yet, why should he prioritize me?
And then that date, yes. He was more than 10 minutes late (a fact I didn’t mention because I tend to leave out the negatives when I like someone, as per my blog policy) and did not apologize for being so. He picked the place. And as I’ve already mentioned, he and I live 2 blocks apart. We both walked there (I assume, I guess he could’ve been really lazy and taken a cab the 12 blocks). So he couldn’t have been held up by a slow subway train, or something like that. He just didn’t make the effort to be on time.
And then he had to leave early because he had someplace to be.
All of his actions scream, I have no time for you/you are so low on my priority list I can barely spare an hour for our date.
He made a rather big show of apologizing for having to go early and saying how much he enjoyed my company and that he wanted to see me again. He said something about the movies. I don’t know why a guy would bother to say stuff like that if he wasn’t interested. He could have just as easily have left with a, “it was nice meeting you”. Polite but not interested.
But I know it makes absolutely no sense to text, email or call Mr. Too Busy to see if he wants to get together again. Even if the answer is yes. Then I’ve just created a relationship dynamic that I really don’t want.
If he really does like me, it will occur to him some time in the next day or so that he hasn’t called. And I’ll cut him some slack about not getting in touch sooner. But, honestly, I think he’s probably just not that into me. And I’m kinda bummed.
Tags: blog policy, first date, Online dating