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Top 5 Reasons Why Every Single Girl NEEDs A Bunch of Guy Friends (the Type Who Like Boobs)

Remember When Harry Met Sally? No, not the scene at Katz’s (which, btw, is not as good as it used to be).  The bit about men and women not being able to be friends.  It made for great movie dialogue, but lucky for me, I’ve always known it’s a load of crap.

How do I know this?  Because, for as long as I can remember, some of my best have been straight guys.  And no, not exclusively.  I’m not one of those women who doesn’t get along with other women.  I have women friends, too.

I can trace it back to when I was 16 and got a job at a movie theater.  There was a strict division of labor, girls worked the candy counter and boys were ushers.  On slow days there was only one candy girl working for every 4 or 5 ushers (I’m old, and so we’re talking pre-multiplex days).  So I spent my summer hanging out out with a bunch of really cool guys who were slightly older than me (bonus – lots of invites to college parties from guys who thought of me as their little sister).

Anyway, this week there were a bunch of articles about how great guy friends are (that’s the way these things work, one person writes something and then you see it everywhere).  The first one, Guy Friends Rule by Mary Elizabeth Williams, appeared in Salon.   It was Salon, so she took the high road, wondering at one point if the popularity of some of the more inane dating advice books written by guys could be explained by the fact that so many women don’t have guy friends.

Her piece was followed by posts in Jezebel and The Frisky about how great friendships with guys can be.  Rah, rah, rah.

Well, I figured I’d join the fray.  Here are my Top 5 Reason Why Every Single Girl NEEDs a Bunch of Guy Friends (the Type Who Like )

1)  Beer and hot wings, need I say more. Total generalization, I know.  There are plenty of women who like beer and hot wings, too.  But the truth is, sometimes (a lot of times) I like to just go out and talk meaningless shit and drink beer and eat food that’s really, really bad for me.  And I don’t want to hear about anyone’s relationship or hear about how many calories there are in the onion rings (or how many hours someone is going to have to spend in the gym to work them off).  I just want to blow off steam and/or chill out.  And, in my experience, guys do that better than girls.

2) Guys friends will tell you the truth about what they do and don’t find attractive in women –> always helpful! – I can still remember the day I found out that most men didn’t think anorexic looking chicks are hot.  It was a slow day at the movie theater and I’d snuck a fashion magazine behind the candy counter.  I was flipping through the pages and hating myself (like your average American teenage girl) because I’d never look like one of the models.  One of the guys came over and made a face as he looked at one of the pictures.  I asked him what the face was for.  He said, “She’s too skinny.  It’s gross.”  I asked him to elaborate and I came to find out that he thought that most of the models that I’d thought of as ‘perfect’ until then were ‘too skinny’ in his eyes. (I then spent the next week asking every other guy I knew about this and they pretty much all agreed.  I’ve always been into field testing theories.)

3) Women with guy friends tend to be more at ease around men in generalI’m not a dating expert.  But I’m pretty damn observant.  And one of the things I’ve observed time and again is that it’s the women with few or no straight male friends who have problems meeting guys casually/in social situations.  Conversely, the ones who have the easiest time are the ones with lots of male friends.  Because they have no hang-ups about talking to guys.  They’re just people.  People with penises.

4)  Chances are, they will broaden your horizons (if you’re smart enough to let them). I am a huge sports fan (well, one sport, I’ll keep that off the blog).  My male friends can be blamed/thanked for that.  And a guy friend helped me learned some basics (I can still remember sitting in his apartment, him trying to not lose his patience with me as I stared at html for the first time, in a panic).  Could I have picked this stuff up from my female friends?  I guess…

5) No matter how many assholes you date, you’ll never start hating men – My guy friends are a bunch of the warmest, kindest, most generous people alive. Plus, they’re all extremely cool and make me laugh my ass off.  I’ve been treated pretty badly by some men in my life, but I’ll ever give up on the gender, because I have proof that good ones are out there.

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26 to “Top 5 Reasons Why Every Single Girl NEEDs A Bunch of Guy Friends (the Type Who Like Boobs)”

  1. starangel82 says:

    I agree with all five of your reasons. Especially #3. I’d probably be at a loss around men if I didn’t have guy friends.

  2. LPS says:

    Amazing post. So true!! I’m forwarding this to my guy pals and letting them know that they are dons! They’ll love reading this.

  3. bellaressa says:

    Great post and I agree wholeheartedly.

  4. Anonymous says:

    As a geek girl, I slightly resent that HTML comment, but not everyone is into the geekery I am and not everyone is as available to geeky chick friends I suppose. I agree with the article pretty well, but I think this should also mean that perhaps some of us chicks need to shape up and stop acting retarded. We shouldn’t have to resort to guy friends becuase are chick friends take such actions. 1) if they’re really that bad, why are you friends with them in the first place? 2) Why not tell you friends they’re acting distastefully? Please don’t mis-construde that I disliked or disagree with your article, as it brought up good points, I just don’t think people should feel they have to just ‘deal’ with girls who act like that.

  5. Anonymous* says:

    I stumbled this article and don’t think I could agree any more with your ideas here, and I particularly second #5. Oh man, goodness knows I’ve known my fair share of jerks, but not once have I been discouraged and started to hate the entire species. And I thank my great guy friends for that.

  6. lostplum says:

    Number 5 is spot on! My guy friends are the bestest friends I have, and I would die without them……and they make me love men even more (actually now that I think about it maybe that is a problem)

    And you can never go wrong with beer and wings!

  7. Carolyn Cordon says:

    I hate to generalise, but guys tend to be better at home handyperson skills than women, and they love to show off their expertise at say changing a tyre or laying pavers. Very useful to have friends like that.

  8. Doriano paisano Carta says:

    Wonderful advice. I totally agree, as biased as I am. Conversely, I’d say the same is totally true for us men. My female friends are priceless treasures! I’ve learned so much about the mysterious creature known as WOMAN thanks to my girl-friends. Plus, being around all that testosterone too long is icky. Guys need to be more rounded and MUST surround themselves with ladies whenever they can (and not just for that reason). It’s great to talk and LISTEN (a skill we never master but must try to hone!).

    Thanks for yet another excellent piece, Simone. I’m glad we’re friends!


  9. MindyMom says:

    Agreed! I love my guy friends and am SO glad to have them for all the reasons you stated and then some. Great post.

  10. Simone Grant says:

    Thanks so much, everyone, for your positive feedback on this. I’m going to go send a link to a couple of my guy friends right now (they don’t all read the blog).

    Oh, anon #1, I love my women friends too. I don’t think they’re act distastefully. Just, different than guys. I like having both in my life.

  11. tequilashot says:

    I agree with you on the 3rd and 5th point. I have a lot of guy friends around me, and since I’m still a student more than half the number of people in my class are guys. I get along well with a lot of guys. We can joke around, talk seriously, gossip, just like normal girlfriends can do! Plus, guys around me are very much gentlemanly.

    I often think I relate to guys more than my girls. Sometimes they let me think that they actually know and understand me better than my girlfriends do.

  12. Simone Grant says:

    I’ll bet you that as time goes on, at least one of your girlfriends will be jealous of how easy it is for you to get along with guys. And good for you.

  13. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles says:

    I wish I had more guy friends! I’ve enjoyed a number of friendships with men over the years, but they didn’t really outlast the guys pairing up with significant others. I still made the effort to reach out, but they withdrew into their respective “love nests.” Sometimes I wonder if men have less of a need for female companionship and so feel satisfied enough with a wife or girlfriend that they no longer miss their female friends. Yet I know there ARE women out there who’ve managed to hold onto their guy friends, so maybe mine is an isolated experience.

  14. Veka says:

    I absolutely agree with #3. I’m that girl. I’ve always had really great guy friends, which also leads to a lot of truth in #5. I’ll never hate them.

  15. LittleMsSarcasm says:

    This post is spot on. I’ve always been a fan of having male friends (both straight and gay), as well as female friends.

  16. American Girl says:

    I really love reading your entries because it is very well thought and well written. Keep good post coming!

  17. Ysabella Juson says:

    Agree with reason #2 and #3. So true! 😀

  18. dianadilettante says:

    I so agree with #2 and #4. Having another opinion from a member of the opposite sex is great – they’re more honest, and are not bitchy when helping you out with an outfit. Ah, it’s hard to be frienemies with a guy, isn’t it? And yeah! #4 is so. true. I always thought guy interests were weird until I actually sat down with my guy friends and just, mellowed out. Well, if you can’t understand them, join them!

  19. Simone Grant says:

    Wow, playing catch up with comments today and hadn’t realized there were so many wonderful ones here that I hadn’t read. Welcome to the newcomers here – Ysabella and dianadilattante.
    Singletude, I’ve also lost some of my male friends to relationships. And that always bums me out.

  20. Anonymous says:

    so why don’t u date one of your guy friends. Women dont make sense.

  21. Simone Grant says:

    Because I love them as FRIENDS. I realize that some men have trouble with this concept. But it is possible to love a heterosexual person of the opposite gender in a completely platonic way.

  22. dazediva says:

    I got mushy thinking of my guy best friends whilst reading this =)

    If it weren’t for my boys – I would be a bit lost to be honest – they are just always there (in spirit as we all live in different countries) and are on the ball when I talk to them about anything … It’s true – the lads give the honest upfront opinion and don’t sugar coat things to me – especially if I’m in the wrong … damn I’m gonna have to tribute a post to them :)

  23. dazediva says:

    You are an inspiration again … come by my blog for the latest post

  24. keliana says:

    My guy friends are the best!!!!!!!!!!!! They make life fun!!!!

  25. let love be says:

    bless this post with love,peace,respect and success.

    just let love be

  26. Sandyvs says:

    I’m SO glad you posted this! I been involved with Jazzercise for over 26 years, and was an instructor for 6. This meant I was around a lot of positive women. If they didn’t come to class in a good mood, they left in one.
    Now, I work in a field which is predominantly male and love it. I’ve always been comfortable around men and I’ve had some great discussions about every topic iminagable, so I feel as though I naturally understand the way men think and feel. I agree that men and women can be friends because I have several ‘friends only’ relationships with men of various ages and I treasure these friendships just as much as my women ones.