So yeah, I’m single and I date a lot. Big whoop.
Girls like me are a dime a dozen. Guys, too.
What I find more fascinating are people who don’t date. And I don’t mean fascinating in a judgmental way. I mean honest to goodness – fascinating.
The non-daters I’m thinking of seem to fall into two major categories: those who used to date (or used to be married/in a serious relationship) but for whatever reason have no desire to be in the dating pool. I think most people would look at these folks and say, “they’ve given up”. But I think it’s far more complicated than that. I know that a few of the women who read my blog are in this segment of the non-dating camp. And from what I can tell they haven’t so much given up as opted-out because they didn’t find what they were looking for. But I don’t want to put words in anyone else’s mouth.
Just this week I read a couple of things that introduced me to a whole other category of non-dater. I’m not even sure what to label this group, or how I feel about them. I know they make me feel kind of sad, and I realize that’s kind of judgy, but the truth is that they seem so uttery unhappy and depressive that that seems fair.
First off we have the men and women (the ones featured in the story are all guys) in Japan who are having “relationships” with pillowcases. I’m not even going to get into the fact that the anime “women” featured on the pillowcases are frequently prepubescent girls.
So far as I can tell these guys have decided that they have no opportunity for a real romantic relationship, EVER, and so they are turning to an enhanced fantasy life? It’s weird, sure, but really is it any weirder than the guys who spend all their spare cash on porn, strip clubs and prostitutes because they don’t know how to interact with women (I don’t do psychoanalysis, go elsewhere for your whys).
Speaking of which, Dan Savage did a whole column this week on straight guys who’ve never dated or had relationships. I happened to read both of these articles within an hour of each other and I couldn’t help but think how similar the men all seemed to me.
I’m not sure I have much of a point here, other than that single can clearly mean lots of different things. Speaking of which, I’d like for one of my friends (detailed instructions will be sent by email later today) to kill me if I’m ever seen dining with a pillow case.
Tags: dan savage, nytimes, Porn, single, virgin