I don’t believe in much (don’t be shocked, it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve said that). I don’t believe in god (I consider myself a devout agnostic) or soul mates or heaven or even the Easter Bunny. But I do believe that sometimes the universe (which in my mind always translates into “The Powers That Be” because I was a huge Angel fan – geek girl alert) looks out for us.
For instance, back in April when I was laid off from that job that I didn’t really want – that was the universe looking out for me. And now, the universe has stepped in again to keep me from doing something that I wasn’t sure I should be doing.
Cupcakes & Cupid has been cancelled. Well, not cancelled – postponed. Postponed until October. And October is a long time from now.
When I was originally approached with the idea I was immediately hesitant. You all know that I work hard to try to keep my life separate from the blog. I don’t show my face here and I don’t do any of the kinds of PR that so many other bloggers do (conferences, cable TV, morning shows…). I’m 100% sure that I never want to have that public of a life.
And, well, the men I date are not the kinds of guys who’d want to date a dating blogger. They are professionals with serious, grown-up lives. And while I dream of being able to tell a guy I like about this blog (and of him being cool with it), I can’t imagine my getting many dates if I said up front that I did this for a living.
So I was hesitant. Cupcakes & Cupid was/will be a live seminar and that means me being in a room full of people who could take a picture of me and stick it online. But at the same time it just seemed like such a great opportunity for me. Like I said, I don’t do any PR for this blog. And so sometimes I feel a little lost out here in blogland. Other bloggers are out there shaking hands and getting their mugs plastered all over the web and I’m just here, typing away (ps – I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have the readers I have. You all rock. I’m so not complaining. But the prizes, READ=advertisers & book deals, go to the people with the highest profile and not the most readers).
Anyway, I decided to go for it even though I was feeling like it might not be a smart thing to do. I was hoping that since it was a room full of women that maybe if an announcement was made asking everyone to respect my privacy that everything would be OK. I didn’t feel good about it, but I was trying to get over it because I thought it could be a good move for me career wise. That there would be good press about the event (because it would have been/will be great) and maybe some of that press would shine some light on the blog.
But the universe has stepped in. It seems that this is not a good thing for me to be doing now. For whatever reason. And I’m good with that.
I’m sure there’s a relevant dating/relationship metaphor I could draw. Some things are just not meant to be. Blah, blah, blah. Life goes on. Always.
Tags: blog, blogger, Cupcakes & Cupid, dating, geek