Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Overheard in New York

Three guys walking down the street on a hot Saturday afternoon.

One guy is saying loudly to the two others,  “I don’t get it.  I spent like fifty dollars on lunch.  I did everything right.  And she hasn’t said .  That was days ago.”

One of the other guys, “What a ”.

How much do you want to bet that the woman thought she wasn’t supposed to call?

Please see Let’s Ask the Experts and Games People Play for additional insight as to why this is kind of funny.


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10 to “Overheard in New York”


  1. rugger says:

    As a guy I would think a quick “thanks for lunch” or “thanks for a nice time” whatever on that day suffices. I don’t think a 50 dollar lunch should leave me waiting expectantly for some long drawn out thank you.

  2. damiella says:

    Whether or not it was a good date, saying thank you is essential. So many NYC girls take it for granted when guys pay, which is LAME LAME LAME. Doesn’t matter if there’s going to be a second date or not, if one person pays (be it the male or female), a text or email to follow up is good manners and good dating karma.

  3. bobmatnyc says:

    Third. A “thanks” of some form is just polite manners, forget about dating…

  4. OpinionatedGift says:

    Common courtesy. Sorry, $50 is a lot for a lunch. Show some class. This assumes she didn’t say thank you AT lunch. As for calling back? That’s not necessary if already said. Maybe the guy’s an asshole.

  5. Simone Grant says:

    I wrote about this a while back (just went digging for the post but couldn’t find it – must have been before I got any good at tagging things) I think a thank you text or email is appropriate and that’s what I do. If don’t believe in the whole, let the man do all of the contacting nonsense. If a guy does the paying (which is my world is an if) then he should be thanked. Sometimes a thanks at the date is appropriate. Other times I feel like I need to say something the next day. For a nice lunch date I’d feel obligated to send an email the next day. It’s just good manners.

    If the guy contacts me first, then all that I feel is needed is a “thanks again”.

    And no, I don’t care if I’m breaking “the rules”.

  6. Simone Grant says:

    Wow there were a lot of typos in that comment. Sorry about that.

  7. Veka says:

    I always, always, always say thank you. No matter what. Dinner, lunch, movie, ice cream, whatever. First, I will always offer to pay. If he insists, then it is immediately followed by an, “Are you sure?” and then a, “Wow, thank you so much!” or something to that effect. As OpinionatedGift mentioned, if she says “thank you” on the spot, then a follow-up thank you text is not necessary, but always well received. “Just wanted to say thanks again for dinner :)” or something along those lines never hurts.

  8. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles says:

    There’s no real dating etiquette, so it’s hard to know who’s following what rules when you go out with someone. When it comes to follow-up emails and things, it’s sort of like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. While I wouldn’t go back to the days of dance cards and drawing room receptions, I wish there was a more uniform, accepted etiquette for dating these days. The way it is now, you never know if someone is rude, uninterested, or just following a different dating protocol.

  9. dazediva says:

    A thank you is just common courtesy and part of the basic etiquette .. if a guy or girl is paying for lunch / dinner / coffee – a thank you is in order ..

  10. Simone Grant says:

    Veka and dazeddiva – I agree with you both. A thank you is in order. And as singletude points out, because there is no one set of rules, it’s hard to know what a person is thinking. A woman who says thank you after lunch but then doesn’t follow up with a text might be thinking she is following one rule, whereby the guy could be thinking she’s breaking a rule. Silly, silly.