Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

? Seeking…Hey, Where’s My Box

So, by now all of my regular readers know that I’m a big fan of .  For all of its faults, I think it’s a pretty awesome way to meet potential dates.

But that’s not what this week’s poll is about.

Recently I was checking out a new-ish site (I check them all out, I like to be well informed) and I noticed that they didn’t include preference selections for bisexual men and women (and no, I wasn’t trolling eHarmony – been there, done that – never again).  This struck me as really odd and pretty damn foolish on their part.  And then it got me to thinking.

I actually know some women who will come right out and say they won’t bi guys.  I’m not one of them.  I don’t personally have an issue/problem/concern (call it what you want) in that area.  And I know there are some people who don’t even believe that male bisexuality exists (let’s not turn this post’s comment section into a battle on that, please).   I find the “it doesn’t exist” argument a little bizarre as I’ve known many men who seem very happy in their bisexuality, but whatever.   All I’m saying if that if a guy says he’s bi it isn’t going to stop me from dating him, whereas I know it’s going to stop some other women.

This doesn’t seem to be an issue for guys.  If anything, guys seem to be turned on by bisexual women.  Or maybe it’s just that the guys I know are all perverts (please, I’m joking)?

And, to get out of the heteronormative world that this blog usually inhabits, what about within the gay community?  I’ve heard gay male friends talk about their discomfort with men who call themselves bi.  And yet I know lesbians who will date bi women without giving it a second thought.

Anyway, these kinds of questions fascinate me.  And I want to know what you all think.  And what would you, and wouldn’t you do.   If the person you were interested in dating told you they were bisexual, would it make a difference?  Would you date someone who was bisexual?

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  • I’m a guy, and I would. (28 votes)
  • I’m a guy, and I wouldn’t. (12 votes)
  • I’m a woman, and I would. (27 votes)
  • I’m a woman, and I wouldn’t. (44 votes)
  • Other/This doesn’t apply to me. (2 votes)

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12 to “? Seeking…Hey, Where’s My Box”

  1. OpinionatedGift says:

    Perv and proud of it.

    It is fascinating, the turn on that bi women are to most straight men, yet the reverse is quite rare.

  2. nandoism says:

    This came up in my last dating situation with my 20-year-old “hottie” and he clearly told me he was BiSexual. I judged and marked him as just not ready to clearly “come out of the closet” but as he went on to describe how he loves sex with women and gave me graphic details of what he does with his tongue (no offense ladies) I wanted to hurl chunks and thought…okay, I guess he is Bisexual. And because I was REALLY into him…it wans’t an issue…as perverted as it sounds…it was a but of a turn on.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I’m in the “I don’t believe” camp.

  4. Cute~Ella says:

    “I’m a woman, and I would.”

    But it would depend on a few factors including how safe they are, how likely they are to leave me…oh wait, those are some of the factors for straight guys too.

    I’d be more likely to date a straight man than a bisexual man. But it all depends.

  5. sparklytosingle says:

    My sister came out of the closet a few years ago, and also studied human sexuality at university, so I’ve really had my eyes opened up about this issue through some very interesting conversations about sexuality.

    My personal belief is that hetero/homosexuality is not an either/or, but rather a scale with hetero at one end, homosexuality at the other, and bisexuality smack in the middle . I identify myself as straight and have no interest in actually hooking up with another woman, but I do find women to be sexually attractive, so I guess I’m somewhere in between bisexual and heterosexual… I’m not RIGHT at the edge of the hetero end of the scale. I don’t think it really matters where you’re at on the scale, as long as a guy is attracted to me and wants to have sex with me then I would consider dating him (assuming he has other redeeming qualities that make him date-worthy, of course).

  6. Prisqua says:

    Well it has never happened to me or maybe the guy did not tell me and I have nothing against gay/bisexual people. But here is an issue for me: would I be able to share? Because it sounds like a triangle romance… no matter how you look at it, at least 3 people would be involved if not more, unless the person comes out with I only date one person at the time no matter what sex they are…

  7. Simone Grant says:

    Well the pervs have a 2/3 majority (amongst the men) today:-)
    So you went from no way to kind of hot? Very interesting lesson for the rest of us.
    I’m not going there.
    I’d probably be more interested in a guy who was straight, too. But like you, it all depends.
    Like you, I’m comfortable with thinking of all people on a continuum. It’s really about the individual.
    Well, it’s a triangle if there’s actually a third person involved. But I don’t think there has to be.

  8. aguy says:

    the idea of dating a bi girl sounds great — threesomes! sexual experimentation! but as someone who fell in love with a girl who claimed to be bisexual, but turned out to be a lesbian, i do suggest caution … although i’m not saying i wouldn’t do it again…

  9. Momma Sunshine says:

    I also believe in the sexuality spectrum. I’m hetero, but definitely wouldn’t rule out the possibility of experimentation with a woman if the right one came along at the right time.

    As far as my men go, I prefer mine definitely hetero. Not that I have an “issue” with bi men, that’s just my own personal preference….

  10. Lthemeow says:

    Hmmmm, I would and am dating a bisexual man. He is just as faithful(and exclusive to one person in his romantic attention)), if not more faithful, then the straight men I’ve dated. Both of the two men I caught cheating were straight. Then again being I am a bisexual woman myself bisexuality doesn’t seem any different from hetersexuality to me. Just means that checking genitalia before deciding if a person is dateble/romantically lovable simply isn’t an instinct for me as it seems to be for a hetersexual/homosexual person.

  11. Simone Grant says:

    Just catching up on a few days of comments. Welcome to the blog and thanks for chiming in. I hope to hear from you.

  12. Lthemeow says:

    Thank you for writing the blog. There is a noticable age difference between us but I’ve enjoyed and learned from what I’ve been reading so far. I’m very inexperienced and so i can take all the help learning I can get! Especially since, though I try not to be, I am intensely shy face to face.