Not too long ago a reader made a comment along the lines of, you’re obviously too picky – you should have met someone by now since you go out with so many men (I’m paraphrasing).
I’m sure there are plenty of people who read my blog and think the same thing. That I’m too picky or have some other BIG thing wrong with me. With so many dates, how could I not have found a husband by now?
I was thinking about that the other day and realized that I wrote something back in August that answers this question as well as anything else. It’s an excerpt from the post 10 Date in 3 Weeks:
“If we all lived in a small town somewhere, most of them would have turned into second dates. Who knows, I might’ve ended up in a relationship with one of them. But this is NYC and we are spoiled for choice. Everyone is looking for perfection, for a magical spark of chemistry within the first 2 minutes. And if it’s not there, then there’s no point in seeing each other again. Hell, even when it is there, sometimes there’s no second date. Sometimes there’s more chemistry than you can believe, but then you realize that the guy just wants to get laid. And well, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but right now I’m really focused on meeting someone for a LTR and I don’t want to get distracted by flings, and so I send them packing.”
Click here to read the whole post.
A long while ago I was having an amicable breakup with a guy (we just weren’t working out, for several reasons) and he said something really smart. He said that if we lived somewhere else we’d probably just ignore the problems and get married and have kids and have a crappy marriage. And it’s true, we would have a seriously crappy marriage, full of dysfunction. But it’s also true, I think, that if I didn’t know that I had so many other options (including just not being married, which I’m completely cool with) that I might have wanted to stay in that bad relationship. Or another bad relationship. Or had second dates with guys I didn’t really click with. And then 3rd dates…
Maybe all of the this choice is a bad thing? Or maybe it’s a good thing? I really don’t know.
Tags: break up, first date, LTR, marriage, nyc, second date, Spoiled