Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.


There’s this guy I first met online over a month ago. We exchanged several messages and he seemed like someone I might like.  Then he disappeared (Completely.  He hid his profile.  I figured he met someone.).  And then, over the weekend, I got a new message from him.  He apologized for disappearing so abruptly and said that it was because work had gotten overwhelming.

At the end of the message he gave me his real world email.  Which led me to his website and all kinds of information about him that I really don’t need prior to us meeting.  I like to get a little info about a guy beforehand.  You know, due diligence.  But I don’t want to know EVERYTHING about him before we meet.   I mean, if I read his and see his page and check out his stream, it makes the first kinda awkward.  That’s just too much information to have about a complete stranger.   Plus, it doesn’t leave you much to talk about on the (I can’t pretend to not know things that I know).

Speaking of which, I had to laugh when I saw this:

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12 to “TMI”

  1. TonyImages says:

    and chances are he knows about you… and he may now know you “know”

  2. hithatsmybike says:

    if you don’t want to know, why the hell would you go creeping him like that?

  3. Simone Grant says:

    Possible, but improbable. I haven’t given him the info he’d need for that yet.
    I actually showed exceptional restraint. I didn’t go beyond the frontpage of his website. I decided it was more info that I needed and clicked away. But if I wanted to…

  4. Veka says:

    That’s funny. Thankfully I’ve never had this issue and hopefully I never will… I know a lot of my friends that “facebook stalk” guys that they like or that they’re seeing… I’m pretty much the opposite. When I’m dating someone, I make it a point to not look at their facebook/myspace/etc. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s because I want them to have their privacy or I don’t want them to think I’m a crazy stalker or anything lol… If they want to tell me something about their life, I’d rather them tell me personally than find out via facebook.

  5. Simone Grant says:

    I’m with you on this. I want to learn the bare minimum about a guy online (just to make sure that what he’s told me checks out). But I don’t want to launch a full scale investigation. Glad to hear I’m not the only one.

  6. hithatsmybike says:

    Nothing on the internet counts as “private”. If a guy makes this information available, it’s because he wants people to see it.

    That said, I’d stay miles away from anyone who makes all their info available to strangers online.

  7. Simone Grant says:

    I can understand that perspective. The facts of some people’s lives are more public (because of what they do for a living) than others. He’s one of those people (a fact I hadn’t realized before I saw his site). I’ve dated men like that before. It’s something I’m OK with, to a degree. To a degree.

  8. Beth Warner says:

    Why not do a little homework before you meet someone, mainly to be sure their “story” checks out. Why waste your time dating someone if you find a red flag? Say you google one of his screen names and he shows up on some sociopaths anonymous site? I am torn.

  9. Simone Grant says:

    -Beth Warner
    Welcome (is this your first comment -I think it is, either that or I’m getting senile). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a quick google to make sure someone’s story checks out, like I said in the post. But I don’t want to go beyond that. I don’t want to know everything a guy has one and said for the past 20 years. That’s just creepy (to me).

  10. Singletude says:

    Ah, I guess you haven’t yet had the pleasure of dating a famous or semi-famous person. When that happens, there’s nothing you can do but sit there and say, “Oh, right, I remember when that happened” and, “But I thought you said in that interview_____?” A surreal experience, to be sure.

  11. imhere says:

    yes, i agree with you. Know little about the one you are going to date will increase the fun when hanging out. I often date my bi partners from ***Biloves***dotcom and we really know little about each other before meeting in real world.

  12. Simone Grant says:

    It’s certainly not about fame. But many people who work in the arts and entertainment have their entire life’s work (in tiny detail) at a click. Anyway…