Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Dow is Down, Wanna Go Steady?

Yesterday morning my dear buddy @Willingthrall alerted me to an article from YahooNews called, Downturn dating: Hearts flutter as markets stutter.

I always find pieces like this amusing.  They’re such a mixture of fact and BS.  There are some hard facts behind the title.  Our crappy economy has created record for the online industry.   And it’s not just online .  More people are , in general.

But that’s not enough of a story.  They have to interpret the facts for their readers.  “Economic woes, it seems, unleash something practically primal in many of us who find ourselves without a partner: a hard-wired desire for companionship.”

Whatever.   I’ve written about this before.  I’m sure there’s a kernel truth to this primal urge stuff.  But I also know that there are plenty of single people who just happen to have a lot more time on their hands now.  The recession has significantly cut down on the number of people putting in 70 hr work weeks (some because they’ve been laid off and others because their work has just slowed down due to fewer clients, etc).   People who were “too busy” to try out a couple of years ago now find themselves with the time.

Not to mention the obvious economic motives.  Online dating is a pretty cheap way to meet new people (compare one month of a premium online dating provider to a couple of nights out at a NYC bar).

Which leads to my favorite part of the article.   The CEO of is quoted as having said, “a man can spend $100 buying drinks at a bar trying to pick up a stranger and leave with little more than a cold shoulder. But, when he’s in a relationship, a Saturday evening can be as simple as Thai noodle takeout, Netflix and some fun under the covers.”  It makes me want to put, “date me, it’s cheaper than a night out at a bar” in my OKCupid profile.

I know I’m kind of rambling and I still haven’t gotten to my point.  That’s what happens when I’m annoyed.  And I am. Very annoyed.

An underlying theme of this article seems to be that people are dating more because they’re now more focused on what really matters, i.e., getting married and starting a family.  Because single people have been living wasteful, shallow lives up til this point.  Thank goodness for the recession.

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8 to “The Dow is Down, Wanna Go Steady?”

  1. saucy40mom says:

    SingleGirl I welcome your annoyed rambling because I am prone to doing the same myself at times when I get all fired up about something. I feel irritation and annoyance are completely justified when any particular group (in this case, single people) is generalized into the “this is what they’re doing and why they’re doing it” category and you know it’s not true at all. Or even if it may be true for some, it is not true for you, therein further reinforcing why using generalizations is a practice most often times reserved for those too lazy to dig a little deeper and present the bigger picture. That said, as a married person (20 years–OMG it’s overwhelming seeing it in print) does that mean WE are being portrayed in the story as “knowing what matters?” Hysterical!! Oddly? enough, I tended to think my years before marriage were every bit as meaningful as those since and believe that married or single, each day is another stepping stone on the path that is our life and they will be as meaningful as we make them as we each figure out what our true purpose is. Unfortunately having a spouse and children does not provide you a “golden key” that unlocks the door to personal fulfillment. If only it were that simple…

  2. alfabeta says:

    I totally disagree with the statement that online dating is cheaper than offline dating. First you have to pay for the dating site, then once you go on a “first date”, which will happen in a bar or even coffee, the guy pays. And it’s not even a date yet. The dating starts with the follow-up date, which I call “Date 1b”, which pretty much follows the same rules as offline dating: another bar or restaurant, and maybe I am dating more women at the same time – the man always pays. And it’s even harder to find a right match online, because of the awkwardness of the “date 1a”.

    That’s why I disagree!

  3. Simone Grant says:

    Thanks for understanding. I get pretty sick of having the whole, “only married people with kids are valuable members of society” thing shoved down my throat over and over. I know that most married people don’t think that way (or not all married people). But the media love it.
    I can totally see your point. But how would you be meeting your dates if not online? Going out – I’d assume. And going out costs money.

    I also happen to think that the best onine dating services are not necessarily the most expensive ones.

  4. alfabeta says:

    Well, I don’t really meet women offline, just because I don’t believe in the bar scene. Women are just not standing around and wait to be approached by men. In that case, online dating is even more expensive :)

    But I agree with you regarding the online dating services. The best ones don’t come with flashy websites and a couple of million dollars of advertising budget. There are other and better options in NYC.

    But for a guy, dating is expensive.

  5. Anonymous says:

    alfabeta, why don’t you go dutch?

  6. Mikko Kemppe says:

    So you felt like the article was putting down on single people for having lived shallow lives and that we should be grateful for our recession? I can see how that would make one feel pissed off. Thanks for sharing.

  7. NYCTravelgrl says:

    I got your sarcasm at the end, and I agree with you. :) It reminds me of how after 9/11 the media was saying that people were all of a sudden getting married and having babies, because, “you never know”…

  8. Simone Grant says:

    I’m sure it can be. I also know from my own experience that you have a lot of control over exactly how expensive it is.
    Good question. Alfabeta, do you ever consider going dutch. We’ve discussed the “who pays” situation here on the blog. I think it might be time to bring it back up.
    -Mikko Kemppe
    Welcome to the blog and, um, thanks…
    And a big welcome to you too. Yes, I remember that. It’s sooo frustrating. Our society is so messed up with this stuff.