Jeez, I hope my friend doesn’t mind my telling this story. I’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of days and I just have to mention it.
A good male friend of mine went out on a date a few weeks ago. It was a set up. He was set up by another female friend of his. She said that he’d really hit it off with this other friend of hers, and that she was pretty and smart blah bah blah and he figured why not.
The date didn’t go well. He thought she came off as not having much of a personality and not very bright. But he also knew that she had to be bright. She had started her own successful business and a person doesn’t accomplish that if they’re not smart. So he figured that maybe she was just nervous, a bad dater. And he could tell that she liked him.
So he decided to ask her out on a second date (in addition to being handsome and smart and cool, he’s incredibly sensitive and willing to give people second chances). The second date was worse than the first. He had an awful time and couldn’t wait for it to be over. Unfortunately, she did not have an awful time. She emailed him first thing the next morning and then again the next day.
He was all set to send her a polite but firm, “no thank you” email when their mutual friend, the woman who set them up, told him (he called her to give her an update) to not send the email. To not reply. To just ignore this woman and do ‘the fade’.
I was completely shocked by this because I hate the fade. I would so much rather have a guy email me and say he’s not interested (or he’s getting back together with his ex or he’s moving to Mars, whatever). I think the fade is childish. And my friend, the guy, wanted to do the stand-up, mature thing and tell this woman he wasn’t interested. And another woman told him not to.
I just don’t get it. Not at all.
Tags: bad date, no thank you email, set up, the fade