I’m 39 and single. I’ve never been married, have no kids and have never really lived with a guy, not for any period time. On these facts alone one might assume a few things: I’ve dated a lot. I’ve had quite a few relationships. And that all of those relationships failed.
These would be fair assumptions.
It would also be fair to assume that my behavior occasionally contributed to those breakups. On a totally random tangent, what’s your favorite breakup song?
So here for your mockery today are the 5 Biggest Dating/Relationship Mistakes I’ve Ever Made. You’d think there’d be more, but the truth is I make the same mistake over and over. I’m dumb like that.
1) Fixating on my first impression of a guy, even when there’s significant evidence to show I’m wrong. I did this with Mr. Potential (Who I described in my first few dates as kind and considerate. Then when he stopped being kind and considerate and started taking me for granted I still kept saying, “but he’s so kind and considerate”. I should have realized my first impression was wrong and moved on much quicker.) and I’ve done it many times before. I’ve wasted the equivalent of years of my life in relationships with men that were completely wrong for me, but I didn’t realize it because I was so fixated on my first impression of them.
2) Putting important thoughts and feelings in emails. This is a big sin and I have no excuse for it. It’s childish. Even in the case of a long-distance relationship. It’s just so much easier for me to say what I’m feeling in writing. But still, it’s wrong. I must learn not to do it. Ever again.
3) Impatience (ok, not so much a mistake as a character flaw that leads me to make mistakes). I am not the most patient woman on the planet. That is a huge understatement. I’m a New Yorker by birth and certainly by temperament. I make decisions fast and want to act on them just as quickly. And it’s hard for me to adjust to another person’s pace. My impatience has hurt some of my relationships and I know that.
4) I hold on to grudges. I’m thick skinned and have very liberal views about a lot of things. I like open relationships and think people need lots of space and free time. And so I don’t get bothered by a lot of the typical things, But when someone does upset me, really upset me, I have a hard time letting that go. Harder than most people, I think. I hold on to grudges longer than I should. And it makes it harder for men to get back into my good graces. I’d like to think that I’ve learned my lesson on that. Only time with tell.
5) I date the wrong men. Still. And I have no one to blame for that but myself. I’m trying to change this.
Tags: break up, breakup song, dating, long-distance-relationship