I know, I know – I’ve used this blog on more than one occasion to vent about how difficult it can be for a woman (especially a woman in her late 30s) to date in NYC. And it is hard.
There are, by anyone’s count, more women that men here(although there is some debate as to the actual numbers – see the comments on this link) and a general sense that women in New York are, well, expendable. That if a guy meets someone who isn’t his perfect, ideal woman he should just get rid of her and find someone better. The logic being that there are so many amazing women (and so many of them are single and having trouble meeting a decent guy) here that he’d have no trouble getting someone better.
There have even been several times when I’ve considered moving primarily because of how difficult it is to date here. Friends who’ve moved to other places and then quickly met someone and got married have tried to lure me with promises of easy living, low rent and bars full of great single men. But I’ve stayed because I love New York. It’s my home and love it despite its faults.
And over the years, even though I may vent about the difficulties every one and a while, I’ve learned to love dating here, too. That’s right, there are things to love about being a single woman in New York. And since it’s Friday I sat down and came up with a list of 5.
5 Things I Love About Being A Single Woman & Dating in New York City
- It’s perfectly acceptable to eat alone in a nice restaurant. I used to travel sometimes for work and I almost always ate at the bar. There’s something weird, in most parts of the country, about sitting at a restaurant table alone and having a good meal. Whereas, in NYC, it’s pretty common. In fact, I met a guy this way once. I was feeling blue and so treated myself to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants. And he was sitting at the next table, also eating alone. He was cute and he thought I was cute and by the end of our meal we’d exchanged business cards. I would have enjoyed my meal just as much if I’d eaten in silence (awesome food), btw.
- The rules are that there are no rules. I don’t care what anyone says about dating in New York, there are no rules. Things that make perfect sense in other places just don’t work here. People come here from all over the world, with different sets of beliefs and expectations. All of us, no matter how much a person might feel the need to hold on to some code of behavior, are just muddling through. My inner anarchist finds this exhilarating.
- Dating in NYC means going to some of the most spectacular museums, restaurants and clubs in the world. I know this is going to sound really snobby, but I’d so much rather have a second date at the MOMA than at Applebees.
- There are always more fish in the sea. Sometimes NYC feels like douchebag heaven. But lucky for us, we don’t have to actually date those losers (we don’t have to date at all, but that’s another post). For every douchebag there’s a decent fellow out there, just waiting to buy a girl a drink.
- NYC is home to some of the most interesting men in the world. In the past decade I’ve dated a composer, an expert on international development, an art gallery owner, a hedge fund officer, assorted project managers and techies/programmers of random varieties, guys with Ph.D.s in topics I barely understood, a music producer, several small business owners/entrepreneurs, an actor or two, a musician or two (or three), a tv producer, a journalist and a couple of teachers. Oh, and then there were a few lawyers and a couple of doctors and the stand up comedian(maybe I should stop, now). They came from so many different states and countries it would make my head spin to try to remember them all. And most of them (because this is something I’m attracted to) had travelled widely and spoke at least one language other than their native tongue. Like I said, interesting.
Tags: dating, douchebag, Moma, nyc, restaurants