Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

As a Matter of Fact, It Was a Pretty Awesome Date

I’ve been so busy recovering from Lostplum’s birthday party that I forgot to write about my date Thursday night.

He could be a keeper. (I’m grinning as I type this, btw).

Here’s the backstory:  We first met online weeks ago.  And honestly, I didn’t have high hopes for him.  He seemed great in a lot of ways (cute, smart, has had a super-interesting life with lots of great stories to tell) but there were a couple of giant red flags.   Or maybe it’s one big, complicated – he’s a divorced dad (which I’m totally cool with) who just recently moved to for work.  His ex and kid are in another city, a few hours away, and he goes there a couple days a week to see the kid.

Now, my rule with is simple – they must be good dads.  I think it’s sexy when a guy adores his kids and makes great efforts to see them as much as he can.  But in this case his being a great dad means he’s only a PT New Yorker.   And between a crazy work schedule and trips to see the kid, he just doesn’t have a lot of time for anything else.  And then there’s the fact that he just hasn’t been in New York that long.  What if he decides he doesn’t really like it here and misses his other city and wants to be closer to his kid (a completely understandable desire).  Big red flag.

Anyway, after weeks of flirting he finally asked me on a definitive date and I scheduled it for the night of Lostplum’s birthday party.  I like first dates with a time limit.  If they’re horrible you have a real reason to leave and if they’re great then you can leave with a smile on your face and look forward to your next date.

He asked me to pick a place for us to meet.  He’s too new to the city to know many places and doesn’t live in Manhattan (he lives in an other borough).   I went out on a limb and did something I never do.  I picked a bar I’d never been to that was right around the corner from where the party was. The weather was just so yucky, I didn’t want to have to walk far after my date to get to the party.  I told him I’d never been to that bar and that if it was lame we could just go someplace else.

The bar was kind of lame (why did I listen to NYMag?) but we stayed and made the best of it.  We had tons to talk about (living abroad, tending bar, art, food) and I really enjoyed chatting with him.  It was easy.  Completely unstressful and relaxing.  I actually can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a .

And then, before I knew it, it was time for us to go.  It was pretty clear that we liked each other and I had no doubt that when he asked me if I’d like to see him again that he meant it.  I said yes and since then we’ve been emailing back and forth, trying to figure out when.  It probably won’t be until next weekend.  Oh well.

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5 to “As a Matter of Fact, It Was a Pretty Awesome Date”

  1. Alicewillbe says:

    Some good news at last! Sounds great.

  2. alfabeta says:

    Congrats! I am happy for you. Seems like there is potential. We haven’t read about this for a while!

  3. Simone Grant says:

    -Alicewillbe and Alfabeta
    Thanks guys. There does seem to be some potential, but only time will tell. Fingers crossed.

  4. Quirkyeconomist says:

    I JUST finished writing a post (going up tomorrow, in honor of Father’s Day) about dating a dad. My boyfriend moved to this city to be stay close to his daughter (his ex is from here and wanted to move back) so the fear that this guy might not stay in NYC, especially if he really is devoted to his kid, is definitely reasonable. On the plus side, I’ve found that I really like dating someone who has built-in time away since it means I have built-in time for ME. And I couldn’t agree more that it is so sexy when a man is a good dad!

  5. Simone Grant says:

    – Quirkyeconomist
    I’m glad there’s someone who understands. The reality is that if he and I were dating and he told me in 6 months he were moving back to be closer to his kid I couldn’t be mad. Because one of the things I like about his is how great a dad he is. *sigh* It’s never easy.