I’ve been so busy recovering from Lostplum’s birthday party that I forgot to write about my date Thursday night.
He could be a keeper. (I’m grinning as I type this, btw).
Here’s the backstory: We first met online weeks ago. And honestly, I didn’t have high hopes for him. He seemed great in a lot of ways (cute, smart, has had a super-interesting life with lots of great stories to tell) but there were a couple of giant red flags. Or maybe it’s one big, complicated red flag – he’s a divorced dad (which I’m totally cool with) who just recently moved to NYC for work. His ex and kid are in another city, a few hours away, and he goes there a couple days a week to see the kid.
Now, my rule with divorced dads is simple – they must be good dads. I think it’s sexy when a guy adores his kids and makes great efforts to see them as much as he can. But in this case his being a great dad means he’s only a PT New Yorker. And between a crazy work schedule and trips to see the kid, he just doesn’t have a lot of time for anything else. And then there’s the fact that he just hasn’t been in New York that long. What if he decides he doesn’t really like it here and misses his other city and wants to be closer to his kid (a completely understandable desire). Big red flag.
Anyway, after weeks of flirting he finally asked me on a definitive date and I scheduled it for the night of Lostplum’s birthday party. I like first dates with a time limit. If they’re horrible you have a real reason to leave and if they’re great then you can leave with a smile on your face and look forward to your next date.
He asked me to pick a place for us to meet. He’s too new to the city to know many places and doesn’t live in Manhattan (he lives in an other borough). I went out on a limb and did something I never do. I picked a bar I’d never been to that was right around the corner from where the party was. The weather was just so yucky, I didn’t want to have to walk far after my date to get to the party. I told him I’d never been to that bar and that if it was lame we could just go someplace else.
The bar was kind of lame (why did I listen to NYMag?) but we stayed and made the best of it. We had tons to talk about (living abroad, tending bar, art, food) and I really enjoyed chatting with him. It was easy. Completely unstressful and relaxing. I actually can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a first date.
And then, before I knew it, it was time for us to go. It was pretty clear that we liked each other and I had no doubt that when he asked me if I’d like to see him again that he meant it. I said yes and since then we’ve been emailing back and forth, trying to figure out when. It probably won’t be until next weekend. Oh well.
Tags: divorced dads, first date, nyc, nymag, red flag