Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Long, Fun and Weird

So my the other night with that guy, the one who had disappeared for many months, was just bizarrre.  Oh, and we were right.  He’s been in a serious relationship this whole time.

First off, he’s an old picture guy.  A really old picture guy.  If I had to guess I’d say his pictures are at least two years old.  Maybe three or four.  At this point, I’m not even surprised when guys are 20 pounds heavier than their pics.  It’s pretty much the norm.  I’d be shocked if a guy actually looked like his picture.  Not shocked – ecstatic.  But still, it kind of does reflect poorly on him that he’s using such deceptive photos.

He came off as pretty intense from the get go and I was thinking it was going to be a short evening.  Intense can be good in small doses, but I can’t deal with someone who’s intense all of the time.

And then, as we got to talking, I realized that we knew some of the same people.  We’re both career changers and we both used to work in the same field.  Just not with the same people at the same time. And he got out before I did.

It was pretty freaky to hear that we knew some of the same people, especially when we actually started to talk about them.  I guess you could say it was disorienting.  But his perspective on those people and on some shop-talk type things that only people in our former profession would know about was illuminating.  It let me get to know him in a way that I wouldn’t otherwise.

And because we had so much to talk about we ended up talking for hours.  And hours.  4 hours.  It was the longest first date I’ve been on for years.  And it was fun talking to him.

But (there’s always a but) I’m thinking that he’s completely the wrong type of guy for me.  If we ever actually worked together we would have been total work enemies.  We’re on completely different sides of some pretty big issues. I’m a pragmatist.  I don’t have time for people who want to spend all day talking philosophy.  I want to get things done.  Even if it means compromising. And he’d rather walk away than compromise.  He’s the type that calls people who compromise, ‘sell outs’.

And so, even though I had fun, I’m thinking it’s a bad match.  Although it was kind of neat to talk to someone who knew so much about stuff that I knew about (did that sentence make sense?).  Luckily I have two more dates scheduled for this week and a couple other new guys on deck for next week.

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3 to “Long, Fun and Weird”

  1. sparklytosingle says:

    Hmmm… I’m just curious, but what does it matter? You’re not interviewing for a job with him, you are dating him. If you’re not going to work together then does it really matter if you don’t see eye to eye on work issues, even if you’re in the same industry? Maybe it does, I don’t know. Just some food for thought. It sounds like you had a great date though, I’m surprised you want to walk away.

  2. RVASarah says:

    Why would Simone want to be with someone who thinks compromise means being a “sell-out?” There is a parallel between the “work self” and the “relationship self” here. If he won’t compromise at work, why would he in a relationship?
    I guess what I am saying is that she, or anyone for that matter, shouldn’t have to settle. Go with your gut, Simone.

  3. Simone Grant says:

    RVASarah said it perfectly. Someone who won’t compromise at work is someone who probably won’t compromise in their relationships. I’ve already dealt with some guys who had to have everything their way all of the time. No thanks.
    Thanks sweetie. Compromise is one thing, settling is something entirely different.