Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

While We’re On the Topic of Bad Sex

Yesterday, just moments after I posted, I turned my attention to (what a surprise) and found myself in the middle of a debate.*  Well, maybe debate is too lofty a term.  Someone, I’m not sure who (sorry, I’m just too busy to dig through tweets today, maybe someone can give us the info in the comments) posed the question:  Which would you prefer, , or no sex?  I was pretty shocked to find myself in the minority on this one.  Most of the people responding were voting for .  WTF?

Wondering about my logic? See yesterday’s post.

But that was Twitter and it was a very small midday sample of people.  Maybe, I’m not so far outside the norm on this one.  I’d like to know.

Which would you prefer, bad sex or no sex?

*Some of my Twitter friends who were participating in the conversation were @DatingGirl, @divorce_party and @SingleGal.  I don’t mean to be excluding others, these are just the names that come to mind.

  • Bad sex. (39 votes)
  • No sex. (92 votes)
  • I don’t have an opinion. (7 votes)

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19 to “While We’re On the Topic of Bad Sex”


  1. Singlegal says:

    Hey hon! I posted the question which made your blog post yesterday INCREDIBLY timely (great minds think alike!). I can tell you from the responses I go,t “no sex” was the winner, with some division down gender lines (more guys than gals voted for “bad” over “no”, but not as many as I was expecting).
    I will be interested to see the results of your survey!

  2. Dating Girl says:

    I picked bad sex over no sex because at least “bad sex” means I’m going on dates and meeting people. Now I wouldn’t purposely have sex with someone that I KNEW was going to be bad at sex, well… really bad at sex. Because, ladies… we all know that even if a guy is bad at sex (small penis, or just no clue) He can always go down south. ;)

  3. MissMollyMoo says:

    Ok so I’m the one who stated yesterday that I hate when guys think a big dick is enough to satisfy me. I choose no sex. There is nothing worse than having a guy finish while you are laying there wondering if you can get yourself off without him noticing. Besides, if a guy is bad in bed I’d rather not go there, unless he is going to get me off after… especially if he is just going to jackhammer away. Because yo dude. SLOW down

  4. Veka says:

    I prefer no sex to bad sex. But I prefer mediocre sex to no sex.

  5. starangel82 says:

    No sex because bad sex is just, well, bad.

    I am with Veka though… mediocre sex is slightly better than bad sex and much better than no sex.

  6. Shannia says:

    why waste time having sex if it’s going to be bad. I’d rather have great sex once in a while then bad sex on a regular basis.

  7. Anonymous says:

    By bad sex do you mean no orgasm at any point?

  8. Jennifer-from-NY says:

    Um, I’ve mentioned this before but I’m 20 and have only had bad-mediocre sex. But right now that is looking prefereableto none. Which is what I’m having. I think for me it’s a grass is always greener. But, you know, good sex for a change might be nice.

  9. Momma Sunshine says:

    I’d definitely choose NO sex over BAD sex. Any day of the week.

    Of course, I was 34 years old (just last year!) when I found out that I’d only ever been having mediocre sex my entire life! I’d never actually had fabulous sex before…and now that I have, let me just say, I will NEVER “settle” again….!

  10. TonyImages says:

    I’m probably one of the only guys that would say “no sex is better than bad sex” but I have better porn collection than most LOL

  11. wwfchic says:

    had bad sex for a year with “dead animal guy” and trust me – i was glad to be done. hung like a light switch, selfish and always wanting to be on the bottom – doesn’t really add up to a good time!

  12. darkheath says:

    OK… I’ll admit, I voted for “bad”, because at least with that I have a chance to make it good. As someone mentioned, “going down south” (which I love), has a way of turning things around. Just a little too tired of the “no sex” option.

    So while this question may fall along gender lines to an extent, I’m betting it’s split more along the “haves & have nots”. I know if it was more a regular part of my life, I’d skip the bad.

  13. darkheath says:

    wwfchic – “dead animal guy”?!? That sounds positively putrid.

    Did he kill animals… or was that what he was like in bed?

  14. Simone Grant says:

    Alrighty then. I can’t remember the last time the comments made me laugh this much. You guys all rock! Now for some specific comments.
    -MissMollyMoo
    Welcome to the blog (yes, I know you commented before but now you have a name).
    -Anonymous
    I can’t speak for anyone else – different people probably mean different things when they say bad sex. For me, I can have pretty good sex but still not O. That’s just the way my body works. With bad sex – never.
    -Jennifer-from-NY
    I promise honey. It will come. It’s not you, it’s the guys. The youngins just don’t have it yet. :-)
    -wwfchic
    My neighbors were wondering why I was laughing so loud.
    -darkheath
    You are probably right. It’s a have and have not thing. And either way, it’s a sucky choice to make.

  15. sfsingleguy says:

    Bad sex probably means that your chances of having good sex again with that person go down.

    No sex means you could have good or bad sex with that person. So I’ll play the probability angle and say no sex is the safe bet – even odds that you’ll have good sex with that person :)

  16. alfabeta says:

    Ok, I guess I am one of the 23% that prefer bad sex over no sex. But it also depends on what relationship I am in or if I am in any relationship at all. For instance, as single guy with no fb I would prefer bad sex over no sex at all – who knows when the next time will be. However, I’ve also been in a LTR where the sex was bad. In that case I decided to not have sex at all. Does this make sense?

  17. Veka says:

    Wow.. I can’t imagine being in a LTR where the sex was bad and choosing to not have sex at all. Yikes! I guess I should be thankful…

  18. valeriekw says:

    There’s nothing more unsatisfying than bad sex! Thankfully, this is one of those would you rather hypothetical situations! Ha! For your fabulous fix, follow me at http://beautyandthebudget.onsugar.com !

  19. Simone Grant says:

    -sfsingleguy
    Hmmm. Different way of thinking about it. You’re definitely right. Once you’ve had bad sex with someone it’s probably unlikely you’ll have good sex with them.
    -alfabeta
    Yes it makes sense. I think it comes down to the point that when you’ve starving for sex, you’re less picky about it.
    -Veka
    It does make you think.
    -valeriekw
    Hypothetical for some, very real (sadly) for others.