Online dating has a bad reputation. A really, really bad reputation.
Recently, one of my readers mentioned to me (he was being very nice about it, and I’m not mocking him or taking that comment negatively) that perhaps I shouldn’t be wasting my time with online dating. That I should be using my energy to meet guys in person.
And just last week (I think it was last week) I got into it with someone who constantly tweets “Online dating safetly tips”. I told him he was fearmongering, and implicitly suggesting that online dating was more dangerous than meeting people in bars or clubs. Which it isn’t.
Yes, I posted my own safety tips for online dating. I think it’s important that people, especially women, think about safety. But I also use these same measures with men I meet “in the real world”. And honestly, I think meeting a guy in a bar is absolutely no safer than meeting him online. You have no more assurances that what you’re being told is true. The only thing you have is the ability to see him, in person. So, yes, you get that over with and know whether or not you’re attracted to him physically.
But there are a lot of advantages to online dating. A lot. So this week I bring you the 7 Things I Love About Online Dating.
- You can take the time to exchange thoughts and ideas in full sentence format via email. It’s usually too loud in bars/parties/clubs to hear each other well enough for this. I’m not really interested in the pretty but dumb guys at this point in my life. Online dating helps me weed them out.
- You really can tell quite a bit by a guy’s description of himself. Certainly not everything about him. But you can get a good sense of his tastes and attitudes (and his ability to use the English language with care).
- People have to disclose some pretty big potential dealbreakers on their online dating profile: whether or not they smoke, do drugs, how much they drink, whether or not they want more kids. All things I’d want to know but wouldn’t feel comfortable asking someone I just met. I love that we can get it out of the way right away (yeah, people can lie, but they tend be pretty truthful on those things).
- There are thousands of potential guys to choose from. Sure, it’s a little overwhelming, but I feel empowered by the choice. I like the feeling of possibility.
- I can control how fast or slow things move. It’s not preset. I can very easily say to someone the day we connect, “you seem cool, let’s meet for a drink” or spend a week exchanging emails until I feel ready to make that leap.
- I know it works. I’ve met my last 5 boyfriends online. And 1 in every 8 couples who married in the US last year met online.
- It’s what I want it to be. There are dozens of different sites catering to different needs and tastes. And even within a single site you can state a desire to meet someone for serious dating, casual dating or just “play”. How cool is that?
Tags: dating, Online dating, online dating safety tips