One of the first things I saw on Twitter yesterday was this, “Brooklyn sues Match.com for inflicting humiliation on singles “who feel rejected when their e-mails get no reply.” http://bit.ly/162sbd” from @damiella. The link is to a NYPost article about a guy who’s suing Match.com. I thought it was hysterical and immediately retweeted it and before I knew it it was retweeted over and over and over.
Clearly, it hit a nerve.
Let’s face it, we can all relate to bad online dating stories. Yes, even me. I know that most guys don’t believe this, but women do indeed send out unsolicited messages to guys. All of the time (Well, smart women do. Who wants to sit around and wait to see who’s going to pick her? I wanna get to do the picking.). And sometimes my emails don’t get returned.
But I’ve learned not to take it personally.
A while ago I wrote a post called Online Dating Survival – Lesson #1. In honor of this guy’s lauwsuit and the amount of attention it’s getting (I saw another article about it today in YourTango) I thought it would be a good time to republish parts of it (click on the link above to read the complete post):
It’s not about you. No, I’m not about to go off on some pseudo-religious tangent.
When you’re online dating, you always have to remember that whatever happens, it’s not about you.
- If you wink at someone and they don’t acknowledge it – it’s not about you.
- If you send someone a message and they don’t acknowledge it – it’s not about you.
- If you’re having an email conversation with someone and they just stop replying – it’s not about you.
- If you discuss meeting someone out for a drink/dinner and then they suddenly disappear (and you never end up meeting)- it’s not about you.
If you’re going to survive online dating and maintain a sense of sanity and humor then you can’t take any of it personally. Remember, none of it has anything to do with you until you’ve actually met the person/people in question. Until then, everyone is just making guesses and assumptions about each other based on incomplete information and frequently misleading pictures.
Tags: Match, Online dating, Smart, YourTango