Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Little Rant

Most sites let you see who’s been looking at your profile (and they’ll let you browse privately, without showing up in anyone’s records if you prefer).  Anyway, sometimes I’ll notice the same guy showing up in my “who’s viewing you” list, day after day.  I usually just ignore it, assuming the guy is trying to figure out something smart to say in his opening email or maybe he’s just really absentminded and keeps forgetting that he’s already checked me out.

But there was this one guy who kept showing up in my “viewing you” list who looked interesting.  He didn’t hotlist me or show any interest.  Other than that he kept showing up in my “viewing you” list.  And since I really liked his profile I went out of my way to write a nicer/cooler than normal introductory message.

That was 3 days ago.  Since then he’s showed up in my who’s viewing you list again.  But I haven’t heard from him.  So I’m thinking maybe- brain damage?

I know it’s silly to even care, but seriously, if a guy just wants to look at profiles and not contact anyone why wouldn’t he use the privacy feature.  That way he could look at the same ones over and over and not seem like a creepy, brain-damaged jerk.  Which is what I think of him now.

Oh, and for the record, I use the privacy feature.  Always have.


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5 to “Little Rant”


  1. darkheath says:

    Devil’s Advocate here: Is it possible he just hasn’t paid for the service?

  2. Matt M says:

    Simone -

    I read your blog regularly, and can’t figure out why you waste your time with online dating. You seem to occasionally go out and interact with people in social gatherings. I think you’d have much better success meeting someone that way.

  3. Hypatia says:

    Mmm Hmm… Amen! Note, this is basically what happened with the guy who rated me highly, and then didn’t contact me, and then didn’t respond to my email. WTF? (And he’s been looking at my profile too…)

    (Also, Science Guy keeps checking out my profile & Npapaya’s profile. And he KNOWS that he’s browsing openly, because he’s mentioned that before– not wanting to look at a guys profile because the guy might think he (sicence guy) was checking him out. (yet another example of why Science Guy could never be a match. Homophobia is not high on my list of desirable attributes.)

    I do not get this behaviour.

  4. Simone Grant says:

    -darkheath
    If only. We both have premium accounts. He can contact as many people as he wants for free. So can I (I shelled out for 1 month). And once contacted, anyone can reply for free, even if they have a free account. So he’s got no excuse there. He’s just lame of some serious level.
    -Matt M
    Welcome (I don’t think you’ve commented before, forgive me if I’ve forgotten). I know there are people who don’t like online dating, but I find it convenient and efficient. And for people in my demographic (I’m seeking guys over 40) it’s hard to meet guys just out and about. Yes, I have a life and leave my apartment. So do all of the people I meet online. But we’d never meet unless it was online.
    -Hypatia
    I don’t get it either. I’m mystified. Brain damage. That’s my best guess.

  5. darkheath says:

    got it…. lame.