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I’m Being a Jerk, Part 2

So, it’s official, I’m not going to my friend’s . It’s next weekend.  I’ve been pretending that I wasn’t sure, that I might still go, but today I realized that that was just an act.  A lie I was telling myself. I’m sure.  I just can’t go.

As much as I care about my friend, I just can’t deal with the whole production of it.  Going away for the weekend to this place where the only people I know are the bride and groom (who will certainly be too busy to even notice if I’m there) and where all of the single people will be several years younger than me.  No, I just can’t.

Maybe if things were going better for me right now.  If I were stronger.  But they’re not and I’m not and maybes don’t mean much.

So I went out this afternoon and spent a while picking out an extravagant wedding present. I hope they like it.  It’s not off the registry.  I don’t do off the registry gifts for people I know well.  I like to put a little bit more effort into it.  Anyway, I called her and said that I know she’s probably going to be too busy for the next few weeks, at least until after the honeymoon, but that I want to come by and drop off the gift and take her out for dinner.

It’s what I can do.


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5 to “I’m Being a Jerk, Part 2”


  1. Barrett says:

    Letting her know before the wedding is more than some invited guests would do and the present and dinner I think is enough to smooth an issue over. Just follow up after the honeymoon to see how it all went down.

  2. TonyImages says:

    I would have went with you, I would have loved to see you do the crocodile :)

  3. Simone Grant says:

    Thanks. She was always fine about me not going. I think this is more about me and my guilt/issues. What a surprise:-)

  4. Singletude says:

    I hope you won’t feel *too* guilty. Honestly, it’s only in the last–what?–ten years maybe that it’s even been acceptable for anyone other than the wealthiest half percent of the population to expect that their friends would drop their lives for days at a time and dash off to some other state or even a whole other country to celebrate a wedding. My own rule is that I’m happy to go to any wedding within reasonable driving distance, but if you choose to get married on the other side of the country, you can expect that I’ll probably be sending you my best wishes from afar. Pardon the venting since this may not apply to your situation at all, but I just think people start to get out of line when they expect everyone to sacrifice huge blocks of time and chunks of money just to watch them say ,”I do.”

  5. Simone Grant says:

    -Singletude
    I don’t think you’re wrong. I’m amazed at how much money people shell out during “wedding season”. I guess I’m lucky in that I’m past that age now. It seems to get more extravagant every year.