So this morning as I sat down to read the NYTimes I was struck by the headline, Hints of Hope Even as Jobless Rate Jumps to 9.4%. No, this post isn’t about the economy (I don’t want to get depressed). It’s about hope and perspective.
There are people/economists/politicians who look at our current economy and say, I can see the recovery on the horizon. And there are others who don’t see it coming for years.
I’m guessing that has a lot to do with whether or not they want to see it (speaking as a non economist). People tend to see what they want to see.
Especially when it comes to dating and relationships. At least, that’s the way it works with me. I’m guessing other people are similar.
I will get ridiculously hopeful over some guy for the most random reasons (he likes a certain author I like, or he’s spent some time in one of my favorite foriegn cities) overlooking glaring reasons why I shouldn’t like him (he’s an irresponsible douchebag). And why? Because I want to be hopeful. And because I’m looking for someone to invest my hope in.
I fear I’m entering one of those phases now (it does come and go like phases of the moon). It’s been too long since I actually cared deeply about someone (About 18 months since my last serious relationship imploded – although that’s a false statement because we continued to communicate and even talked about “getting to know each other all over again” as recently as a few months ago. I didn’t write about it at the time because it was stupid and deep down I knew it would never go anywhere. That he was still the same selfish, childish brat from before and that I was just painfully lonely and sad over my mom’s passing. Anyway, I deleted his last text message a couple of months ago and now he really is Dead To Me.).
So now I feel like I have to be overly cautious. Like it’s entirely possible that I’ll dive too deeply into a relationship with the first guy who’s good to me. Because of those hints of hope. Luckily I have you all to keep me in check.
Tags: Dead to Me, ex-boyfriend, hope, nytimes