Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Hints of Hope

So this morning as I sat down to read the I was struck by the headline, Hints of Hope Even as Jobless Rate Jumps to 9.4%. No, this post isn’t about the economy (I don’t want to get depressed).  It’s about and perspective.

There are people/economists/politicians who look at our current economy and say, I can see the recovery on the horizon.  And there are others who don’t see it coming for years.

I’m guessing that has a lot to do with whether or not they want to see it (speaking as a non economist).  People tend to see what they want to see.

Especially when it comes to dating and relationships.  At least, that’s the way it works with me.  I’m guessing other people are similar.

I will get ridiculously hopeful over some guy for the most random reasons (he likes a certain author I like, or he’s spent some time in one of my favorite foriegn cities) overlooking glaring reasons why I shouldn’t like him (he’s an irresponsible douchebag).  And why?  Because I want to be hopeful.  And because I’m looking for someone to invest my hope in.

I fear I’m entering one of those phases now (it does come and go like phases of the moon).  It’s been too long since I actually cared deeply about someone (About 18 months since my last serious relationship imploded – although that’s a false statement because we continued to communicate and even talked about “getting to know each other all over again” as recently as a few months ago.  I didn’t write about it at the time because it was stupid and deep down I knew it would never go anywhere.  That he was still the same selfish, childish brat from before and that I was just painfully lonely and sad over my mom’s passing.  Anyway, I deleted his last text message a couple of months ago and now he really is .).

So now I feel like I have to be overly cautious.  Like it’s entirely possible that I’ll dive too deeply into a relationship with the first guy who’s good to me.  Because of those hints of hope.  Luckily I have you all to keep me in check.


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6 to “Hints of Hope”


  1. Cute~Ella says:

    I do the same thing…find “hope” in the smallest random detail when I really shouldn’t but at the end of the day, when stuff is bad? All we really have in “hope”.

  2. MrBangBang says:

    In my opinion, it’s with the economy just like relationships. But I don’t agree with your version Simone.
    With regards to the economy, the people who see hope for the overall economy are just not looking at facts. Although hope is good in general, it’s not the case when it’s false hope. The hope has to be build on something. You have to look a how things are and then adjust. Just having false hope will get you into trouble just like it is in a relationship. If you see facts and clear indications that something is wrong, I believe you have to look at yourself and do what is best for you.
    It’s human nature to have hope. And in an economy where, overall, it looks like it’s going to get really ugly, there is still a lot of hope for the individual if you are brave enough to face facts. Then you can adjust and do what is right for you.
    This, I believe, is the same in a relationship. I know from my own experience that facing facts in a relationship can be extremely hard. But if your don’t do it, your troubles will just continue and likely be a lot worse. At least that is how I see it.

  3. drumdance says:

    I’ve been dating someone pretty intensely the last two weeks, but I’m still not completely over my last serious relationship. I like this girl, but I’m not sure I will fall in love with her. Her pattern is to date guys that are emotionally unavailable, and she finally figured out I was still hung up on my ex and we broke it off. But now I’m thinking maybe I really could fall in love with her and maybe I should try to extend it a bit longer to find out. And on the other other hand, I don’t want her to get too attached and get hurt.

    Love is so risky sometimes. :(

  4. Simone Grant says:

    -Cute~Ella
    Welcome to the blog, cutie! I’d like to think we have a little big more than hope. Just a little.
    -MrBangBang
    Well, that was kind of my point. That false hope can get you into trouble.
    -drumdance
    Love is always risky. I think. But then, what do I know? Not much.

  5. SIngletude says:

    This is my first time at your blog, so I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. :(

    That tendency to let hope outweigh my realistic concerns over a guy has landed me in trouble more than once. When I meet someone promising, I have to rein in my instinct to start imagining us reading our Sunday morning papers in his and hers bathrobes! When I see those red flags, sometimes I wave them away, rationalizing that I won’t be giving the guy a fair chance if I jump to conclusions about shortcomings he doesn’t have. But again and again, my worst fears are confirmed. {sigh}

    This is just one of the reasons I’ve decided to stay single for awhile.

  6. Simone Grant says:

    -SIngletude
    Welcome to the blog and thank you. I think we all do it, whether we want to admit it or not. And I think it’s helpful to talk about it and get it out in the open. I want to find a way to balance my hope with a healthy degree of realism. Somehow.