Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

5 Reasons Why I’m Happy to Be In My Late 30s

Last night I attended a given by Thrillist with Lostplum. I’m sure she’ll be writing all about it.  Anyway, it was a last minute thing and I hopped at the opportunity to go, knowing full well that I’d probably be one of the oldest women there.

Like a typical girl I sent Lostplum a text asking what I should wear and said, “lil black dress, lots of cleavage?”, which is pretty much my default for parties and events where there will be lots of men and lots of booze.  Well, it is.  (And, to quote Lostplum, it’s classy cleavage.  My little black dresses are classic.  Not trashy.)

This was so not a little black dress crowd.  Not at all.  No LBDs.  No cleavage.  Just me.  Lots of too-short skirts.  Lots of fashion victims.

But I’m getting offtrack.  Forgive me.  I’m a little hungover.  This post isn’t about fashion.  It’s about how happy I am to be old. Or older.

After we tired of the party (we each did find, at one point or another, cute boys to talk to but it was so loud we actually couldn’t hear a thing they were saying) we left to get some food.  Four hours of standing around in lethally high heels is long enough for me.  There’s a pretty good pub a few blocks from the party space and so we went there.

We weren’t the only ones there from the Thrilliest party.  Next to us was a large table of people in their early 20s.  Two guys and several girls. And wow the girls were a mess.  They’d all had WAY too much to drink and were embarrassing themselves in various and distinct ways. We couldn’t help watch and comment on them.

And that’s when it hit me.  The whole night was a lesson for me in, “Aren’t you glad you’re not 23 anymore?”  The girls at the table next to us were all very pretty.  At least 15 years younger than me.  But damn, I wouldn’t trade places with any of them for nuthin.  Not nuthin.

5 Reasons Why I’m Happy to Be in My Late 30s

  1. I’m comfortable with my body.  I actually like the way I look now.  I was technically in better shape 15 years ago but I was always hiding my body, afraid I didn’t measure up.
  2. I have a closet full of little black dresses and I’m not afraid to use them.
  3. I know how much I can drink and how much I should drink and the difference between the two.
  4. I’ve finally gotten the hang of big parties.  I couldn’t deal with them when I was younger.  I probably would’ve hid in the corner with a friend.  But last night I had no problem walking up to complete strangers and talking to them (sometimes, I’m sure, seeming like a creepy old cougar, but who cares).
  5. The sex is much better.  No, I didn’t last night.  The it still out of town and I’m not into picking up random young men and bringing them home for a trial run (anymore).  But I’d be lying if I didn’t put that on the list.  In fact, this should probably be number one.  I’ve learned a lot about what makes me happy, sexually, over the last couple of decades.  And so sex is just a hell of a lot better now.  A lot.  A lot.  Did I mention that sex is a lot better now?

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11 to “5 Reasons Why I’m Happy to Be In My Late 30s”

  1. lostplum says:

    those girls would have been alot more attractive with out their makeup running down their faces, and if they could refrain from drunkly throwing things on the floor (and if you couldn’t see almost half their bras….but i have an issue with showing bra!) And you in your little black dress looked HOT and CLASSY! I’m honored to have been walking the room with you!

  2. MsDatingGirl says:

    I agree totally that being 30-something is better than that 20-something “I don’t know what I want yet” age!
    I know who I am now, and I know what I want. I am not afraid to wear a LBD with confidence, and show some cleavage because I like how sexy I feel, not just to make men drool over me!
    I am more confident now in my femininity, and my sexuality!
    Someday those 20-something’s will figure it out 😉

  3. SpikeTheLobster says:

    I’ve never seen the little black dresses in question, but I have to say that I agree with lostplum: a classy dress with some yummy cleavage beats the pants off (excuse the pun) showing bra. I never have and never will understand that trend, but then I’m a repressed Englishman! Nothing better than a woman in a classy dress: leaving more to the imagination beats shoving it in their faces, any day.

  4. calamari says:

    This is interesting to me because I’ve heard you mention before that so many guys in their 30’s in Manhattan like to date young girls (early 20’s). I’m 34 and I never date girls that young for exactly the reasons that you mention above. Who wants to date a girl that ends up making a drunk scene at the end of the night.

  5. Singlegal says:

    I would like to give a resounding clap to #5! I totally agree.

  6. Simone Grant says:

    You are a sweetheart. And yes, running makeup is just not a good look. They were a mess.
    You nailed it. We can wear those dresses now because we like how they make us feel, not because we want men to drool all over us (that’s nice too).
    Well Lostplum can attest that my bra was completely covered all night. I even put a little safety pin in the cleavage of my dress to make sure it didn’t drop too low (it’s an old lady trick).
    I guess the equivalent would be wanting a flashy convertible that spends all of its time in the shop. I guess?

  7. Simone Grant says:

    Oh how could I miss you? Hell yeah to #5.

  8. Barrett says:

    #3 hits home for me, there’s nothing worse than seeing someone go from enough to just over to not walking straight and its even worse if you’re their date. Knowing your limits is very important.

  9. Jennifer-from-NY says:

    Hi. I’m 20 and felt a little alienated by this post. Ok, so I’d like to get to #’s 2, 4, and 5, but I have pretty much got the hang of 1 and 3. I guess I understand where you’re coming from in that I have a hard time identifying with many people in my peer group because of the excessive drinking. But not all of us do it! I have a good sized group of friends at school whodon’t drink too much (as this was the focus of most of the post and previous comments) or if they do at least it’s occasionally.
    But yeah… still looking forward to 5. 😀

  10. Simone Grant says:

    Welcome to the blog (this is your first time commenting- yes. If not I apologize. With age comes senility). This was something it took me some time to learn.
    The post certainly isn’t meant to alienate younger readers. It’s great that you don’t fall into the category of sloppy drunks. I did when I was that age. I would go out with my friends and have way too much to drink and get loud and be messy. I think it’s part of being young. Nothing to be ashamed of. I’m just glad that that part of my life is over.

  11. Anonymous says: