Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Wow, This Really Sucks

This isn’t what I was planning on posting today.

In fact, I have most of another post written.  A fun, flirty, kind of naughty post about sex and fuckbuddies and all kinds of things that make me blush a little.

But I had to put that away.

I’ve known for a while that I’d need to write this.  I’ve just been putting it off.

I am Simone Grant.  But I’m not.  Just about everyone has figured that out.  I don’t want the men I date to know about this .  That would create a level of complication/drama that I’m not prepared to deal with.

However, I haven’t made it impossible for people to find out the truth, either.  I am not a good liar.  Nor am I good actress.  So, until last week I made it completely possible for any guy who wanted to know the truth to find it.  And yes, I can see how dangerous that might be.  I can be an idiot sometimes.

I’ve actually been found out.  Twice.  The first time passed with barely a mention.  It was acknowledged and then we moved on.  I didn’t mention it on the blog, because I didn’t want to make a big deal of it.  And I really valued how cool the guy was about it.  I don’t know if he read what I wrote about him or still reads the blog.

The second time I was found out didn’t go so well.  The guy in question left some comments on the blog that I felt I needed to delete.  I rarely delete comments.  But I felt it best to delete these.  I didn’t want the comments section to turn into a he said/she said.  Been there, done that. He also private messaged at least one of my frequent readers and set up a Twitter account with the lone purpose of taunting me.

It’s his right.  I guess.

I’ve always been super-careful to protect the identities of the men I write about (tinkering with minor details, etc), even when letting the names out could be a boon to this blog.  I do that not only to protect myself and my privacy but because I think people shouldn’t have to read shit about themselves online.  Even if someone is a dick to me, he shouldn’t have to wake up one morning and read that I think he was a dick to me.

Anyone who seeks out my blog and then chooses to read it, knowing full well what it is by one quick look at the header, well that person should know what they’re getting into.  I’d file that under, “looking for trouble”.

I’m not spoiling for a fight here.  Seriously, I’m not.  I just wanted to give my daily readers an explanation for some of the weirdness of the past week.  I’m hoping that weirdness is over.

And, don’t worry.  I’ve been working to make it a little harder for men to find out about the blog.  I hate lying.  But not nearly as much as I hate feeling attacked.


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13 to “Wow, This Really Sucks”


  1. Levs babe says:

    Eish Simone!!! ….. spill the beans …dont keep us in suspense…..

  2. TonyImages says:

    yes please do tell….

  3. alfabeta says:

    Yes, please! We would like to know the full truth.

  4. Simone Grant says:

    There is no “full truth”. I’m not planning on naming names – ever. Nor am I planning to ask all of the men I’ve ever dated to share their perspective on what happened between us.

    I’m sharing this with you because some people saw the deleted comments in question, received messages from the man in question and/or saw the tweets in question. I just wanted to address that stuff and then move on.

  5. Simone Grant says:

    -Levs babe
    Oh and Welcome to the blog, darling!

  6. PiscesInPurple says:

    That sucks, Simone. I’m sorry.

  7. alfabeta says:

    Gotcha! I guess you also want the man in question to back off.

    Too bad I missed his comment, though. Would have been interesting to read a different view.

  8. Momma Sunshine says:

    This truly sucks, Simone.

    Several months ago I had a group of “friends” find out about my blog (someone invaded my privacy and snooped on my computer when she was in my home caring for my children). The url got passed around and apparently discussed at length (I’d had some unkind things to say to about some people – anonymously, of course!) and they took offense at what I’d written. They didn’t attack me directly on my blog, but I felt forced to shut it down and delete everything.

    I started a new blog (my current one) but I’m pretty sure they hunted me down again. Whatever. I figure I’m *that* interesting to them, then they can just read away.

    And I never did get an apology for that gross invasion of my privacy.

    Anyhow, the whole point to my little story is that I just want to say that I feel for you, girl. It’s weird – those who don’t blog have no concept of how important it is for those of us who do to be able to maintain our privacy.

    Hopefully you’re back on track with all of this. You know you’ve got our support, girl. xo

  9. TonyImages says:

    ok …. I’d rather read about:

    “A fun, flirty, kind of naughty post about sex and fuckbuddies and all kinds of things that make me blush a little” … Simone blush? mmmm ;)

    lets move on.

  10. hithatsmybike says:

    everything on the internet is fair game.

    These things happen, but that’s the risk you take. You never know how or when what you say will come around to bite you in the ass, but be certain that it will.

  11. Nandoism says:

    Girlfriend,

    I go through the same issues with my blog–but such is life.
    If it happened it happened and so what?

    I wrote a blog about a guy who refused to give me head in the
    men’s room….and when he found the blog… he BLEW UP!

    My response was–why did you get mad? You refused,
    I was the one who kept insisting and I made it clear in the blog.

    It’s your life, your blog, your story, keep up the good workl!

    Nando

  12. Simone Grant says:

    Wow, I’m behind on comments again. Thanks again for understanding everyone. I think the mini-drama is over and I can go back to pretending to be anonymous (which I realize is a false sense of security).
    -Nandoism,
    Welcome to the blog and thanks so much.

  13. KB_in_NYC says:

    You make a choice to blog and write about (in our case) our dating/ sex lives and I guess it’s always a fine line that we walk.

    I’ve only just started telling people about my blog and so am coming out of the closet, so to speak. There are both things to lose and to gain by doing that.

    But with regards to this dude. He just sounds like a douche. You never outed him, or told people who he was. He obviously had issues with you that went beyond you just blogging about him. And what he did reflects really badly on him. Not you.

    Keep on keeping on Simone.


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