Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

You Can’t Go Back

I’ll admit it.  The main reason I went out with the guy I went out with tonight is because he reminded me of my first love.  He looks a bit like him and they’re from the same place and, well, there are other similarities.

It took me about 3 minutes to realize that those similarities were superficial at best and that this guy was DULL.  Who knows, maybe he just didn’t like me/didn’t think I was cute and so wasn’t even trying to be interesting. Whatever it was, I was having a hard time staying focused.

I got to thinking, on my way home, about what would happen if I were to actually meet my first love now (I mean meet him now, as he is, for the first time).  Would we even like each other?  Or would we have an awkward date that ended early?


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8 to “You Can’t Go Back”


  1. Global Patriot says:

    That’s always an interesting “what if” with many relationships that didn’t work out at the time. Would it be different (better hopefully) now that you’re older & (hopefully) wiser? Or was it as good as it was every going to be and it’s time to move on. I often wonder myself.

  2. calamari says:

    Sort of like “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”?

  3. marlowedh says:

    I think this is what happens in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby”: it didn’t go very well. . .

  4. OpinionatedGift says:

    To even get close to that answer you would have to spend way too much time thinking about the person you were then and the person he was…and clear all the detritus that memory can add.

    But I think its always in our nature to wonder about Do-Overs.

  5. Momma Sunshine says:

    You know, I think part of why we fall in love with someone has to do with the TIME in our lives when we meet them. We are all such fluid beings – we change and evolve so much that sometimes we barely resemble the person that we were a decade before.

    Having said that, what with the newest development in my love life, I’m ALLLLL about second chances. They do happen. :)

  6. TonyImages says:

    I think second chances are only continuations of the original relationship that never really ended. Actual “2nd” chances in a relationship that ended do not exist but only in fairy tales and romance novels… (IMHO)

  7. Anne Lexington says:

    I think it is very bold and courageous of you to post about your dating life online. Most of us would be embarassed or too unsure of ourselves to pursue such writings. Props to you!! Also, i like this post very much because we all wonder about these things. It is so interesting looking back at ourselves in such a light. We think about how much we have grown and changed since uor last relationship, or one so long ago, and wonder what things would be like now….or how they would be different if we knew then what we know now. it funny though because six months down the road from today we will look back and think how much smarter we are at that time as opposed to now. If only we could set our minds in the future and capture everything we will learn…but keep our same adorable young good looks we have now. Life would be so much easier. I really enjoy your blog, do you mind if i link to it on mine (www.sociasex.com) and maybe reference it from time to time? Thanks.
    Anne.
    http://www.sociasex.com

  8. Simone Grant says:

    -Global Patriot
    I try to stop myself from playing the ‘what if’ game. But it can be awfully seductive.
    -calamari
    Welcome back darling. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around. I’d LOVE one of those machines.
    -marlowedh
    You’re right, it didn’t go very well. But then I’m not Daisy… :-)
    -OpinionatedGift
    It would be wonderful if I could just force myself to get rid of all of those old memories. I do have a pretty lousy memory, in general. But I can remember everything about the day I met my first love. Everything. Sucks.
    -Momma Sunshine
    You are 100% right. The timing is so much of it. Which is why I was wondering what I was wondering. Because honestly, as much as I adored the man who I’m calling my first love, I am 99% certain we wouldn’t click now (if we were to meet for the first time). I’d probably walk away thinking he was a bore.
    -TonyImages
    Yes. And I guess that’s why romance novels are so popular. Everyone wants to believe.
    -Anne Lexington
    Welcome to the blog. Thanks so much. And of course you can link to me any time you want.