So the European sent me that kinda of bizarre text on Sunday morning that I interpreted as, “don’t call me, I’ll call you”. And then I didn’t hear from him again for a couple of days. It was making me anxious because I really don’t like uncertainty.
Truth is that I’m a bit of a control freak. It’s an issue. I know. And there have been many times that it’s gotten in the way of my life. But I get anxious when I have no idea where I stand with people and with situations.
A part of me was relieved that I hadn’t heard from him. Another part was disappointed. And then another part was insulted.
And so Tuesday afternoon I sent him an email that pretty much said, What’s the deal with you? I said it as nicely as I could. I guess. But the email probably also made it clear that I kind of didn’t care one way or the other.
He replied with a long, strange email about how he was having these big personal issues (he was a bit more specific, but I won’t be here) and that he didn’t feel comfortable sharing them with me. And that he needed to focus on himself. And that he thought we probably didn’t have a future together anyway.
Anyway, like i said – relieved, insulted, relieved. Happy it was settled. And quite sure that he will be out there on the dating sites, nonstop. I’m guessing this is his pattern. A few dates, sex, move on.
I just can’t help but feel like I’ve spent the last few years of my life on a man merry-go-round. And yes, I can get off anytime I want. And nothing will change until I change. But I find it all kind of exhausting. Because I really do want to believe that there’s one of them that’s going to be different. All I need is one.
Tags: email, Online dating, texts