It’s Monday and it’s Memorial Day. Usually on Mondays I write posts for the Best Date Spots section of the blog. But I’m not going to do that today. I figured I’d use the holiday as an excuse to mix things up.
I’m not a holiday fan, in general. Although I do love the way the city clears out on three day weekends (New Yorkers come in two flavors, those who go away on the weekends during the summer and those who revel in the fact that our streets/bars/restaurants are slightly less crowded while our neighbors are away. I am very much in the latter group.). Memorial Day weekend is one of those holiday-less holiday weekends. Yes, Memorial Day is a real holiday. But no one I’ve ever met actually does anything to celebrate it. We just have the day off of work and if we’re lucky get to spend it at the park or the beach.
I’ve spent the last couple/few years trying to forget my worst Memorial Day ever. The day I finally ended things, really ended them, with one of my worst boyfriends ever.
I’d tried, initially, to break things off during Mother’s Day weekend. But he’d made it impossible for me to do it. He sat on the floor of my apartment and cried. Not about me and our relationship but about all of the bad things that had happened in his life in the past decade (one of which was his current marital situation, an ongoing divorce battle with a woman who was making things a lot harder than they needed to be). He cried for a good hour solid. Cried and drank. A whole bottle wine, as I recall.
I’d never actually seen a guy cry before. Not like that. And I just couldn’t say, “Tough shit, those are your problems not mine. Now get out.” Even though that’s exactly what I knew I should say. So I let him stay the night and then I let him try and make things up to me.
We actually had a nice night together, the night before Memorial Day. I remember us going to one of my favorite local restaurants and being really relaxed with each other for the first time in weeks. Since that disastrous trip out to the North Fork.
The next morning we woke up and I made us breakfast and we were just hanging around my place for a while. He overheard me on the phone, finalizing plans I had for later that day to see a movie with some friends. And then he said, in a really pitiful way, that he hadn’t seen a movie in ages and that he’d like to go see a movie. And so I asked him if he wanted me to change my plans and go to the movies with him instead.
He said yes, he would.
I offered. I know, I offered.
Hours later he said he was going to pop back to his place to drop off his bag and meet me at the movies. And then he never showed up. I sat there in the lobby of the movie theater waiting for him and he never showed up.
A couple of things here – back then I had the kind of job that required me to have a work cell. And I did get a lot of work related calls on it, even over the weekend. I didn’t have a personal cell as I thought it ridiculous to have two cells. It wasn’t unusual for me to leave my phone home, or for me to turn it off for a whole day when I didn’t want to deal. It was how I coped. And the guy knew that. He knew.
Anyway, when I got home from the movie theater there were messages on both my phones (landline and cell) from him telling me that he wasn’t coming. That something had come up with the ex and blah blah blah. And it didn’t matter. I’d finally had enough. I called him and told him. And told him that I meant it and probably that all of his stuff was going in the trash. We never spoke again.
So now this is the first thing I think of when I think of Memorial Day. A guy who wasn’t very nice to me, who left me sitting in a movie theater lobby, alone.
Nah, I’m not a big fan of holidays.
Tags: exes, holidays