Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Maybe He’s a Duck

I had a pretty good with The European last week.  He was charming and thoughtful and our conversation flowed easily from topic to topic.  We shared our dinners, casually tasting each other’s choices (the food was yummy, he chose a good date spot).  Towards the end of the meal he apologized for eating so much of my entree (so he gets points for sharing and for realizing that he might have taken too much of mine/apologizing for it) and he was so sweet I wasn’t even mad about it.

He suggested that we go somewhere else, after dinner, for drinks.  But I wanted the evening to end relatively early.  I needed to be up early the next day and getting home drunk and late wasn’t going to make that any easier (I had quite a bit of wine with dinner).  So he did the, let me get you a cab thing.  And while we stood and waited for a cab to come he kissed me (note to all of my non city-dwelling readers – when a guy says, “let me get you a cab” and stands there and hails it for you it’s kind of the equivalent of having him walk you to your car).

It was a good kiss.  A long kiss but a good kiss.  I wouldn’t have thought it long if we were in private.  But we were standing out in the street, on a busy avenue.   And I was standing in a very odd position (he’s a good foot taller than me).  Even still, odd position and all, it was a good kiss.

He texted me moments after I hopped in my cab and we exchanged several texts the next day.  He asked me out again for Saturday night, but I had to decline.  I had some nasty dental work done on Friday afternoon and was zonked out on painkillers for most of the weekend.

Since Friday he’s texted me several times a day to check in and see how I was feeling.  And we have concrete plans to go out again on Wednesday, but he was sure to say something about, “as long as I’m better”.  I thought that was thoughtful.  He didn’t want me to feel pressured.

So here’s my question.  Well, it’s not really a question, it’s more of a thought.  He walks like a duck and talks like a duck, so maybe he’s a duck?

You see, I’ve been trying to discipline myself to not leap ahead, to not jump to any conclusions.   I know that sometimes when I want a guy to be a good guy, I take the evidence I have and push and pull at it until it says = good guy.  I know that my last few disastrous relationships probably would never have happened, if not for this habit.

But with the European, I really feel like he might actually be a good guy.  He walks like a good guy and talks like a good guy and pretty much does everything a good guy should.  So maybe, just maybe, I can start to think of him that way?


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11 to “Maybe He’s a Duck”


  1. Yvonne Y says:

    He seems to be really into you…he didn’t let you agonize with whether he likes you or not – all the texting is really sweet. And a good kisser is always a plus point. That said, he could totally be a player too..Bottom line is, if you like him, go with the flow. Think positive and good things will happen.

    I’m a new reader of your blog.

  2. Anonymous says:

    How does a duck walk and talk? Is he “Howard, the duck?”

  3. bellaressa says:

    At least he has been upfront, no guessing on your part. I think you shouldn’t analysis it too much and just have fun with it as long as you feel a mutual attraction and you like him. I would just see where it goes but still cast your line out.

  4. starangel82 says:

    Have fun with The European. From what you say, so far, I think he might be a good guy. Or a duck… however you want to look at it. :) Seriously, just have fun and enjoy yourself. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you at any rate.

  5. Veka says:

    So far so good. Don’t read *too* much into things just yet (which tends to be my problem more often than not), but take it one day at a time, and if things keep progressing in the same way, you may have found a winner! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you too. Can’t wait to hear about the next date. :)

    PS – Hope you are feeling better.

  6. sparklytosingle says:

    Probably too soon to draw any major conclusions yet, but all signs are pointing in the right direction! I like it when a guy makes sure to show his interest like that. I’m glad things are going well with him, look forward to hearing more :)

  7. Anonymous says:

    It really looks like he is a good guy. At least he is not kissing like a duck :)
    What do you actually mean by “he is a duck”. Do you think he is a nerd or just fake?

  8. SINgleGIRL says:

    -Yvonne Y
    First, welcome to the blog. You’re absolutely right. And that is always my biggest fear. Been there, done that. Players need not apply.
    -bellaressa
    But if I didn’t overthink things I wouldn’t be me:-)
    -starangel82
    Yes, having fun should be priority #1. Sad to say, but sometimes I forget that.
    -Veka
    Thanks I am feeling better. But not 100% which has me really worried. I was up all last night. But I’m too chicken to call the dentist and go in for a follow. I’m too afraid to hear something is wrong. I am a LOSER.
    -sparklytosingle
    Yes, probably too soon to draw any conclusions. But that’s the best part for me. When I can just stop wondering and be with someone I can trust. I really don’t enjoy this “finding out” part.
    -Anonymous
    I fear that he is a fake. I fear that he is doing what he things I want him to do. What all the “right things” are. And that as soon as I start to trust him he’ll turn into some other guy. A guy who’s not good or kind or thoughtful. I’m not up for that again. Been there too many times.

  9. Veka says:

    I was just recently dealing with this… You have to look at his actions, not just his words. If he makes the effort to *see* you (besides just *telling* you), then he is probably being sincere.

  10. browolf says:

    If you keep doing the same things date wise his actions wont change much, probably. If you need more data, go for a different evironment, time of day etc

  11. Simone Grant says:

    Thanks Veka and browolf
    Sorry I’ve been so lame the last few days about keeping up with comments. Veka you are 100% right about watching his actions and not his words. It’s all about the actions. And hmmm, browolf, I’ll have to think about that….